Teen’s parents learn too late about alcohol at friend’s homes

I have seen letters in your column from parents who want to ensure their children’s safety when visiting their friends’ homes. Parents need to ask the hosting parents is what their drug and alcohol policy is.

We wrongly assumed that our daughter’s friends’ parents did not facilitate access to alcohol to minors. We later realized that since she was 15, our daughter had access to unmonitored alcohol.

Many parents think it’s OK if teens drink alcohol under supervision, as long as the parents are there and they have possession of the car keys.

What these parents don’t consider is that a teen who may have a genetic predisposition to addiction may have just gotten a switch turned on in his or her developing brain. In our case, our daughter’s addiction became a long struggle, which led to the untimely death of our smart and talented daughter at age 24.

I am sorry for the tragic loss of your daughter. In most states, providing alcohol to minors is against the law for public safety, but also for the reason you stated.

Years ago, I spoke with a gentleman who was active with the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD), when he repeated something he’d heard at an AA meeting. He said the subject at the meeting was what it felt like having that “very first drink.’’ One of the members stood up and said, “It was like someone switched a light on in my head, and I said to myself, ‘So that’s what it’s like to feel normal!’’’ This is why it is imperative that families with a history of addiction make their children aware of it and understand why it’s important they avoid addictive substances

My husband is obsessed with his personal electronic devices and insists on using one most of the time. He gets angry if I ask him to stop. But the worst part is, he routinely takes his tablet into the bathroom with him for extended periods. And no, he does not sanitize the tablet afterward .

Abby, he reads your column and I’m hoping you might comment on this repulsive habit. Please help. He won’t listen to me.

Not only is what he’s doing rude, but it isn’t healthy for your marriage. When he takes his tablet into the bathroom “for a long time,’’ could he be viewing or texting things he wants to keep from you?

As to his hygiene habits, smartphones and tablets can be more unhygienic than toilet seats if they’re used for “toilet texting.’’ The user’s hands should be washed, and the device should be disinfected, too.