‘Queen of the West’ has had several names
I am having a bridal shower for my friend. The couple is not registered anywhere, but would welcome money for their honeymoon.
Is this the way showers are happening these days? Should I put that information on the invitation?
There is a website that your couple can create a “Honeymoon fund” to help assist these types of situations. My friend set hers up to where people could help pay for activities, drinks or dinners. It was more fun and removed the awkward money exchange. Bonus, you can add the website to your invitation. If you aren’t comfortable throwing a shower with this kind of request, then perhaps you could offer to throw a party to celebrate their happy occasion. Personally, I would have a hard time requesting cash up front for a shower, but I know that not everyone feels the same as I do. And if someone asks what the couple needs, then a honeymoon fund can be a top suggestion. With couples getting married later these days or for those who have been married before and are combining alreadyestablished households, it makes sense for guests to ask the host what the couple needs. It also makes sense that cash for a trip is what they want.
As the host, you can help spread the word to guests who ask, but I think it would be difficult to come up with the right wording to reflect that on an invitation unless you went through a website that does all this for you.
Hopefully, as we’ve said before in this column, the couple understands that the underlying point of a shower is not really the haul they’re going to get from it but a celebration with friends who care enough about them to give a gift as part of the joy. If you start with that understanding, then the tone of the event is more gracious and full of gratitude.
Giving money for a honeymoon is still a hard concept for me and my generation, but the hostesses will probably know how to handle the “ask” for funds for the trip. They might consider a honeymoon shower where guests bring a bottle of champagne for the couple, a special dinner on the trip or a gift card to use for shopping. Actually, friends are usually happy to contribute where there is a need, and if dishes, tea towels and coffee pots are not requested, then the joy of giving something that the couple will cherish far outweighs the feelings involved about money contributions.
This question has required me to survey some of my closest friends to inspire me to consider the propriety of the gift of providing cash for a honeymoon when giving cash has not been the norm for my generation.
The reality is that, yes, times have changed. No longer do the social mores dictate that the bride’s family pays for the wedding and groom’s family pays for the honeymoon. After all, statistically, currently half of all millennials are waiting (on purpose) to be married until after 30 years old.
The dynamics have changed. Tastes are always changing. Some manners, gifts and for many, standing on ceremony, are fading away. I suppose we need to adapt our thinking and rely on our creativity. If the bride truly wants a gift for the wedding trip, we should feel joyful about participating in the celebration! Think about a gift of a massage at the hotel destination, a bottle of champagne, and if you have an aversion to giving cash, an American Express or Visa Gift card for the honeymoon could be given instead of a set of glasses or teacups!
Think about inserting a clever menu of honeymoon gift suggestions along with the invitation. Depending on the destination, gear your giftgiving appropriately.
There is an Oklahoma town known as the “Queen of the West.”
on June 14, 1939, published this article about Elk City.
“‘Queen of the West’ — that’s what her loyal citizens are fond of calling Elk City, this town of 6,500 population on the western side of the state. And that’s the slogan that you’ll notice on the signboards as you approach the city.
“Good times, bad times, Elk City has seen them both since her beginning at the turn of the century.
“The town was laid off in 1900 and for six or seven years thereafter it was known as Busch. This unusual name, most pioneers agree, was chosen from the famous brewing company of the same name. Public spirited citizens changed this later to Elk City because the town is situated on the banks of Elk creek. This is the common and most practical legend. There are some who say, however, that the townsite men stayed at the home of a pioneer rancher and his wife. The latter was a cook of no mean reputation and the men were eager for good meals. She agreed to board them, so the story goes, if they would name the town after an Indian chief whose poetic sounding name included the word ‘Elk.’
“In 1901 building started in this prairie town. Adventurous souls or practical type — pioneer or simply those who were eager for a start in the new country — all came.
“Old-timers here get many a hearty laugh now out of reminiscing about those early days. They like to recall, for instance, the Fourth of July street dance in 1901 which lasted from Wednesday until Sunday. Settlers and business men for miles around declared an extended holiday. Some even came from Canadian, Texas, which was quite a trip as reckoned by the horse and buggy method of transportation. The Indians rode down from the hills to show their white brothers something really fancy in the way of ceremonial dances. ‘Every other man was a fiddler during that celebration,’ sow the pioneers declare, ‘and there wasn’t any lack of foottingling music.’
“Even back in those early days, the town was progressive and boasted its first telephone system of about 59 phones in 1902 ...
“In 1907, public spirit had its way and Busch became Elk City ...”
The city of Elk City website — http://www.elkcity. com/home.aspx — offers a slightly different version of the town’s beginnings.
“Probably the most important day in Elk City’s history is March 20, 1901, the date when the first lots were sold ...
“Originally called Crowe, the townspeople, eager for industry, renamed the town Busch, hoping to woo the favors of Adolphus Busch, so that the town might get a brewery. However, when the brewery did not materialize, the name Elk City was officially changed in 1901. Elk City was named after Elk Creek, which in turn had been named after an Indian Chief, Elk River, who lived in this vicinity years before ...”
Today, Elk City is still the “Queen of the West” with a population of over 12,000. It is located about 110 miles west of Oklahoma City on
Interstate 40.