Friend suffering seizures plans to elude driving restrictions

I’m acquainted with a woman who has been experiencing seizures for several years and, because of the seizures, has been restricted from driving. She drove her son to school a couple of years ago (he had missed the bus) and ran into a brick mailbox, totaling her car. She now wants to be able to drive and has said she will not tell her doctor about recent seizures. Isn’t this potentially dangerous? Of course it’s dangerous! It is also irresponsible and indefensible.

Periodically, we hear in the media about tragedies that happened because someone had a seizure and drove into a restaurant, a shop window, etc. For someone with an illness that could endanger the lives of passengers, pedestrians and other innocent people to get behind the wheel of a vehicle is selfish and unconscionable.

Encourage her to talk to her doctor about adjusting or changing her medication. And remind her that if she were to cause another accident, and it was discovered that she was driving in spite of being restricted, that she could not only kill people, she could also be prosecuted criminally and civilly.

Whenever I give my longtime friend a gift, her immediate reaction is to tell me, “Oh, no.” Then she immediately offers to give me money for the gift.

When I give someone a gift, it is because I like that person and am excited to give them something I think they would like. When she tells me I shouldn’t have done it and keeps asking how much money she owes me, I feel very hurt.

Now her daughter, whom I consider like my family, has learned it from her mom and does the same thing when I give her a gift. Abby, why do they react that way? I always give from my heart.

I suspect your friend learned this behavior the way her daughter has —from her mother. You might ask your friend to explain why she does this when you give her a gift, because her reaction is peculiar. (Could it be she feels unworthy?) Because you know that receiving gifts makes her uncomfortable, my advice is to quit giving her things.

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