Lost tooth leads to surprise attraction to dental student

A year ago, I lost a tooth. I’m a 56-yearold woman on disability, short on funds to rectify the problem, so I visited my local hospital’s dental clinic. I hadn’t visited a dentist in years, so I was quite fearful.

The work I needed was performed every two weeks for four months. What I did not count on was becoming seriously attracted to a 29-year-old resident I’ll call “Justin.”

At first, I couldn’t believe it was possible, given the fact that I’m old enough to be his mother and my ex-husband is a doctor. I was a teacher and I know all the “rules.” In NO WAY did Justin or I do or say anything inappropriate. Still, circumstances led me to believe that he felt the same about me. Neither of us acted on this.

The work has been over for months, but some days the memories are so intense, I can’t get him out of my mind. I don’t know how to handle this.

The “rules” you referred to are a code of ethics that professionals are expected to adhere to. The way to handle your feelings would be to consider that if Justin were to act on the feelings you think he shared with you, he could lose his job, and the future he has worked so hard to build would be destroyed. If you care about him beyond your attraction, you will not pursue this further.

My husband and I were very close friends with a couple for about eight years. We moved away, but continued to see each other occasionally. When we were in their city six months ago, we saw them a few times and they mentioned that they had no friends.She has no siblings or parents left.

Her husband died of a stroke five months ago. I sent her a formal sympathy note and three casual follow-ups. I also wrote a poem in his memory. It may seem excessive, but I remember how bereft she felt when her sister died.

I don’t want her to think that we aren’t feeling a lot of sympathy for her. Yet her silence indicates that our overtures are unwanted or that her condition is so bad that she’s emotionally overwhelmed. When does an old friend stop reaching out?

Call and ASK HER how she’s doing. Explain that because you haven’t heard from her, you have been concerned. There is only so much one can do via long distance.

If she’s not doing well, suggest she join a support group. And recognize that, as much as you wish to support her, she will have to forge her own way through her heartache.