Name-calling mom attempts to disrupt son’s marriage
I have been married to “Amanda” for four years. During that time, my parents, especially my mother, have called her and her family “trashy” because they live in a rural area in Texas.
My mother has no reason to abuse my wife the way she does. Amanda’s family has always been very kind to me. What really gets me is that my mother also grew up in a rural area. My mother has said repeatedly that if I don’t get a divorce, things will never get any better between her and me.
When a man marries, he is expected to separate from his family and form a new family with his wife. You must not allow your mother to belittle and abuse Amanda, who must now come first. Because your mother has no intention of changing, it’s time to get a divorce — from HER. If you don’t, she will not only make your life miserable, but also your wife’s. (Happy wife, happy life!)
Over the last 10 years, I have loaned books to friends and co-workers. Each time, the books were never returned to me. When I followed up with one friend about it, he seemed insulted that I would ask for the book back. Other people I’ve loaned books to never mentioned them again.
Is there some etiquette rule that allows people to keep a book that is lent to them indefinitely? If not, what’s the best way to make sure my book gets returned?
No rule of etiquette dictates that when something is lent it is the person’s to keep. The individuals you lent the books to may have been embarrassed because they never got around to reading them or lost them.
I suppose you could make clear when you lend a book to someone that you expect it back within a certain period of time — say, a month. But the only way to “guarantee” that you get the book back is to not lend it in the first place.
Visitations after a death provide an opportunity for friends and family to see people they may not have seen in a long time. (Except for the immediate family, everyone has a good time!) I have decided that I don’t want to miss mine, so I have decided to have it on my 75th birthday. There will be food, drink and photos on the big-screen TV.
My question is, what should I call it? A “celebration of my life” seems presumptuous, but I can’t think of anything better. I plan to repeat this event every five years until I’m dead, in a coma, or run out of money for the caterer. Any ideas?
I can’t improve on the label you have already “stuck” on your party. It will be a celebration of life, so why not call it what it is? I do have a suggestion, though: If you run out of money before your demise, make it potluck.
UNIVERSAL UCLICK
What you did was wrong, of course, and when we do wrong we always pay a price -- in your case, the price of a years-long burden of guilt. After committing a grievous sin against God, King David lamented, “My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear” (Psalm 38:4).
But listen: God doesn’t want you to carry this burden of guilt any longer. And you don’t need to, because He has done everything that is necessary to make your forgiveness possible by sending Jesus Christ into the world to become the final payment for your sins and mine. We are guilty before God — not just for the sins we can remember, but for all our sins. But when Jesus died on the cross, all our sins were transferred to Him, and He paid the price for our forgiveness.
This is why the most important thing you can do is to turn to Christ and by faith trust Him to forgive you. In other words, take your burden of guilt and give it to Jesus — completely and fully. His promise is true: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
As a footnote, although you can’t repay what you owe to your original employer, may I suggest you donate it (with interest) to an organization that ministers to those in need in your community, such as a homeless shelter or outreach to youth.
TRIBUNE NEWS SERVICE