Dad suspects he's judged for his stay-at-home status

DEAR ABBY: I'm at my wits' end. I have been unemployed for almost two years. My wife has been working during that time. We have two girls I take care of as a stay-at-home dad. Although I have consistently searched for work, I haven't found anything, and it's driving me crazy. I have edited and reedited my resume, but nothing has happened.

My question is, do women (and men) think stay-at-home dads are lazy people who leech off their wives? I have to admit negative thoughts have crossed my mind, and I sometimes worry that people — relatives — think I'm a low life or incompetent. Is this true?

— Stay-At-Home Dad DEAR DAD: I know you are frustrated, but you are being needlessly hard on yourself. While some people still think that way, an increasing number no longer do. The traditional roles of the woman staying home and the man being the breadwinner have, of necessity as well as choice, become increasingly reversed since the beginning of the new millennium.

The realities of today are far different than they were 10, 20, 30 years ago. I don't know if your relatives feel the way you suspect they do, but if you think that's what's happening, talk to them and straighten them out. This truism isn't original, but it applies to much that's happening in the world today: The only thing that's constant is change.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby. com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.