Spin me right round
For The Oklahoman
QUESTION: I was in front of a woman going through a revolving door and could not decide if I should go first to get the door revolving or let her go ahead of me and assist by pushing the door from behind her. Some of us old school guys were taught ladies first. What do you think?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: You must be very thoughtful because I have never ever thought of this. I think it is a nice gesture either way; you can’t go wrong, in my opinion.
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: Often, it’s apparent who should yield. If the door is busy and already revolving and you get there at the same time, apply the ladies first rule (or, if you’d rather have a different reason, use a common courtesy rule of putting others ahead of you) and gesture for her to go in first. You can even do this if there isn’t much revolving-door traffic. Then help push from behind. If the person is older or frail, ask them how you can help or tell he or she that you’ll go behind or ahead, whichever applies, and help push. Also, anyone can yield to the person with full hands.
Offer to help in however it makes sense, and you can’t go wrong. And if you need some help because your own hands are full, then ask. If you maintain an attitude of helpfulness and realize that the world — and the door — doesn’t revolve only around you, then you should come through the doors with others just fine.
HELEN’S ANSWER: Thank you for remembering “ladies first.” It is a lovely gesture, and I still appreciate it. It is a little more complicated with the revolving door as it takes more motion to generate the opening, so if you go first and start the motion, it helps. You probably need to communicate this idea to the person you are helping as younger women might not be familiar with this concept.
GUEST’S ANSWER: Brandon Bixler, commercial lending officer for NBC Oklahoma bank: Even though I’m a millennial, my parents raised me with an expected standard of manners in regard to women. Etiquette for a revolving door should not be too different from standard door etiquette except for a few circumstances. The key to proper revolving door etiquette is communication.
When reaching the revolving door with a lady fast on your heels, the correct measure would be to state “please allow me to assist with the door.” Then it would be appropriate to extend your hand (palm outward) in the direction of the door and allow the lady to go first. When the lady is securely in the door section, the gentleman should occupy the next section behind her and begin pushing the door.
As an alternative, it is also acceptable for the gentleman to enter the door first and commence pushing the door with the lady in the next section behind. Regardless of the approach, communication is key accompanied with politeness.
There are certain circumstances that may warrant a deviation from the example given above. Factors to consider may include: the age of the lady, time of day (stranger danger could come into question at night) and whether the door was already revolving.
It would be prudent to offer starting the door for an older lady; however, some female millennials may be offended by the offer.
It would be best to get the revolving door for a lady during the day. Under the cover of night, a lady would not want a stranger to be standing at the door waiting for them. Finally, if multiple people are using the revolving door at the same time, it would be best to simply allow people to access the door as they arrive. Callie Athey is 20-something, Lillie-Beth Brinkman is in her 40s, and social columnist Helen Ford Wallace is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.