Divorced mom mulls overruling dad on daughter’s social life
DEAR ABBY: My exhusband and I have been divorced for three years and share custody of our 10-year-old daughter, who lives with me full time. Her father lives out of state and sees her during the summer months.
Last year my daughter had an incident (an “I’ll show you mine, you show me yours” kind of thing) with a friend at school, and my ex and I decided they should no longer hang out after school alone anymore. A year has gone by, and because they’re in the same social circle at school, my ex is refusing to allow her to go to any events this friend attends, even though there is always adult supervision.
It makes me sad to see her miss out, and I understand that the incident is normal for kids that age. Since she does not live with him, can I overrule?
— I’ll Show You Mine DEAR I’LL SHOW YOU MINE: I’m sorry your ex-husband doesn’t understand that sexual curiosity in children is normal, because it appears he has overreacted. You cannot dictate the rules in his household. However, while your daughter is living with you, he cannot overrule your parenting decisions.
DEAR ABBY: Iama 43-year-old woman who is trying to win back my high school sweetheart. He contacted me through Facebook seven years ago, and we’ve been talking off and on ever since.
I have never gotten over him, but he has had two bad past relationships and says he isn’t ready for another one at this time.
He says he would love to try again “one day” — just not now. What are some things I could do to let him know, “I’m still here, and I want a second chance”?
— High School Sweetheart DEAR SWEETHEART: He KNOWS you are “still here.” Because he isn’t ready to give a romance with you another try, face it — this could last indefinitely. It’s time for you to move on. How he reacts as you begin to disengage will let you know if you have made the right decision.
DEAR ABBY: Since the last presidential election our son has stopped communicating with us. He would text us, but his texts were so disrespectful and hurtful we had to block him from our phones. He’s a grown man and we love him. What should we do?
— Disappointed Parents DEAR PARENTS: Blocking your son from your phones was a mistake. It would have been better to have just told him you would prefer not to discuss politics via text messages.
Until both sides can start listening respectfully to each other, healing will not happen. Unblock your phone and let him know that he hurt your feelings, which is why you did it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
UNIVERSAL UCLICK
Randy Pausch, who was a professor of computer science and human-computer interaction, said, “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”
That is so true. This week, we are looking at how the defenders can collect more trump tricks than might seem possible at the beginning of a deal. In today’s example, how many trump tricks can East-West take against four hearts?
South had a minimum for a two-heart response, but the decent six-card suit made his hand strong enough. His initial plan was to rebid a game-invitational three hearts, but here North jumped to four hearts. (Yes, as in yesterday’s deal, three no-trump would have been more successful if North guessed hearts correctly.)
After West leads the club three, East should first check the high-card points. He has 12, and dummy holds 18. That leaves 10 missing, but South had enough to respond at the two-level. West must have nothing of value. So, East should hope that his partner has led a singleton.
East wins the first trick and returns the club jack, his highest remaining club being a suit-preference signal for spades, the higher-ranking of the other two side suits.
After West ruffs and returns a spade, East wins with his ace and ... what?
When you have taken every possible side-suit trick, you must try for trump winners. East should lead the club two. This will force West to ruff with his second heart. Declarer has to overruff with dummy’s king, and suddenly East’s queen becomes a winner. It is a textbook uppercut resulting in East-West’s taking two trump tricks.