Forming friendships, changing lives

NORMAN — Grey Garrett and Case Kinnett are beginning to become buddies.

Their first step was meeting at a dinner in Norman, learning more about each other and, later, posing with props for silly pictures. From there, they’ll plan when to hang out again.

This budding friendship has gotten its start through the Best Buddies chapter at the University of Oklahoma. The program gives students the opportunity to develop one-to-one friendships with people with disabilities, ages 18 and older.

Best Buddies is an international organization that focuses on friendships, jobs and leadership development for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

“This is an organization that tends to grab people’s hearts. It’s got a really cool purpose,” said Madison Beneda-Bender, the OU chapter president and a graduate student. “We all need friends. We all need people that we can connect to.”

Garrett and Kinnett recently were paired together during a “Friendsgiving” event hosted by the chapter. Garrett is a 33-year-old who is autistic, while Kinnett is a sophomore at OU.

Jenny Garrett, Grey’s mother, attended the event and said she believes the new friendship can enhance her son’s social skills.

“I feel like it will expand his horizons. It gives him an opportunity to socialize with his typically developing peers,” she said. “I want him to have another person in his life to have fun with and go on adventures.”

Reaching more people

Beneda-Bender became interested in the organization last year after she saw a video on Facebook about a Best Buddies event.

Best Buddies is an international organization that aims to end the social, physical and economic isolation of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. The nonprofit’s initiatives include one-to-one friendship programs for middle schoolers, high schoolers, college students and adults. Other programs include helping people with special needs find jobs and improve their public speaking, self-advocacy and communication skills, according to information from the organization’s website.

Beneda-Bender said a love of volunteering, plus personal experiences, motivated her to learn more about Best Buddies. She has two cousins with Down syndrome and said watching her family’s experiences helped ingrain in her the importance of reaching out and offering support and encouragement to people with disabilities.

She visited the Best Buddies website to volunteer but discovered there was not an office in Oklahoma. She spoke with Michael Wieliczka, of Best Buddies International, and the two talked about starting a chapter.

Beneda-Bender then worked to see if there was interest at OU in a chapter. She spoke to classes, talked with students, and word began to spread. She was hoping to find at least 10 students to join, which is the minimum number to register a student organization. She found that and more. There are 70 students now involved in the chapter.

One of those students is Reagan Koetting, a sophomore at OU who participated in the Best Buddies program when she was in middle school and high school in Texas.

Koetting worked with two students with autism while in high school. She said their time together included dance parties, trips to the movies and parks, and playing tag and football.

Koetting said the experience, along with her longtime friendship with a young woman with Down syndrome, changed her perspective. She was inspired by her buddy’s positive outlook on life and said it motivates her to maintain optimism in situations she faces.

“This organization doesn’t just change your life; it impacts other people’s lives,” said Koetting, who serves as the vice president of the OU chapter.

Beneda-Bender said she’s excited about the response and participation from OU students and enthusiastic about the impact the program can have at the university.

“It makes our campus, I think, more welcoming and more understanding of what it means to live with a disability.”

OU is one of three schools with a Best Buddies chapter, said Wieliczka, deputy director of expansion and training with Best Buddies International.

Oklahoma City University and Casady School also are involved in the program.

Wieliczka said Oklahoma is identified as an expansion state, and a goal is to open a state office for the organization. That process includes working with volunteers and donors to raise money to establish an office and local staff.

Best Buddies now has offices in half of the United States with plans to open offices in every state by 2020. Globally, the organization offers programs in 50 countries, Wieliczka said.

Making connections

Beneda-Bender said one of the next steps for the chapter is to find more people with disabilities who want to participate in the friendship program with the college students.

Currently, four individuals have signed up and have been paired with an OU buddy.

Some of those pairs got to meet during the “Friendsgiving” dinner that took place Nov. 17 at Among Friends, an activity center in Norman for adults with additional needs and disabilities.

One of the participants is Victor Long, a 21-year-old with cerebral palsy who was all smiles around the young women who joined him at the table. During the dinner, he flexed his arms and showed off his muscles, which drew compliments from his new friends.

His mother, Lisa Long, also attended the event and said her son showed interest in the Best Buddies program after seeing a commercial while watching the show “Born This Way,” a series on A&E that follows the lives of seven adults with Down syndrome.

Lisa Long said her son is interested in meeting more people his age, and she believes the program gives him an additional outlet to socialize with others, such as going to the movies or special events.

“It’s a lot more fun to go with someone in your age group.”

She also said that being around college students might encourage him to further his education. He currently is studying for his GED.

“I hope he will get some increased autonomy and broaden his horizon,” Lisa Long said.

During the dinner, Beneda-Bender smiled as she looked around the room and watched the interaction between the new buddies. She said she is hopeful that the chapter can raise more awareness, reach more participants and form more friendships.

“I want it to be an organization that thrives at OU and in the community even when I’m not at OU anymore.”