Opposing parenting styles are cause of family fracture
DEAR ABBY: My husband’s sister “Cassie” and I got along well until we had kids. Our kids are months apart in age, and parenting has brought out the differences in our beliefs in a way that has made it hard for us to get along.
I’m a proponent of Western medicine. My kids are vaccinated. We take them to the doctor, give them antibiotics when their doctor prescribes them and emphasize a balanced diet.
Cassie is a proponent of alternative medicine. She doesn’t vaccinate her kids, keeps a vegan house and uses homeopathic remedies and meditation to combat illness. This difference has resulted in heated arguments about what’s best for kids, and we have not been able to “agree to disagree.”
She sent me a large, and probably expensive, set of herbal remedies as a “gift.” If it were from someone else, I’d thank her and give the set to someone who would use it. But in light of our “debates,” this feels like a passive-aggressive dig at my values. How should I respond?
— Different Medical Beliefs DEAR D.M.B.: Don’t overreact. Write Cassie a sweet note thanking her for her “thoughtfulness” and give the gift to someone who might use it or toss it. Do NOT let this degenerate into another argument.
DEAR ABBY: I am mature for being 16. However, I have a few quirks that I prefer not to tell anyone about because when I do, most of the feedback I get is negative.
First, I don’t like watching PG-13 movies, so my favorite TV shows and movies are for kids. My mom and sister keep telling me how dumb and stupid it is and that they’re surprised I don’t watch things “more my age.” I don’t call their shows stupid. I hate telling people my favorite TV shows because of the kind of reaction I get from the people close to me.
Second, I LOVE stuffed animals. Last time I counted, I had around 60. All of them have value to me and make me happy. Is there something wrong with having that many?
Is there something wrong with me? Or should I ignore the comments?
— Kid At Heart in the Midwest DEAR KID AT HEART: There is no accounting for taste. Many adults still read the funnies. I know this because I am one of them.
We ALL have our quirks, and that includes your mother and your sister. Yours harm no one, and if they bring you pleasure, I see no reason not to indulge yourself. Your mom and sister may be teasing you, so stop rising to the bait.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
UNIVERSAL UCLICK
Denis Waitley, a motivational speaker, said, “Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.”
At the bridge table, winners, learning from the past, enjoy avoiding losers. In this deal, South was in four hearts. She won the first trick with her spade ace, unblocked the club king and cashed the heart ace, but West discarded a spade. How should South have continued?
It was surprising that West passed as dealer. Yes, in the old days, one did not open a weak two with a void, but no more. Also, it would have been safer to open two spades than to enter the auction with the weak jump overcall. North’s three-heart response showed a respectable single raise.
Initially, South thought she saw 10 top tricks: two spades, five hearts and three clubs. But when she learned about the 5-0 trump split, her communications were insufficient.
At trick four, declarer continued with a heart to dummy’s queen. Then she played clubs from the top, discarding her three diamonds. Yes, East took the fourth club with his jack over dummy’s nine, but he couldn’t defeat the contract. He shifted to a diamond, but South ruffed (her seventh trick) and continued her good work by leading a low spade, knowing East was out of the suit.
If West had won the trick, declarer would have crossruffed her last three trumps. But when East ruffed and led a diamond, South ruffed, trumped a spade and still had the heart king in her hand for her 10th trick. Well played.