Patient’s feelings for doctor cause confusion

DEAR ABBY: I started seeing a new doctor six months ago to be treated for a serious medical condition. I respect his medical opinion and the fact that many doctors treating my condition would be judgmental and lack compassion. He has offered both. While I appreciate his skills as a doctor, I have started to develop romantic feelings for him. I realize telling him would put him in an awkward position and possibly jeopardize our professional relationship because of the ethical implications. I don’t want to move on to another doctor because I value his services. How do I get over it?

— Anonymously in Love DEAR IN LOVE: When a person needs ongoing medical care as you do, it’s natural to feel vulnerable and dependent. When that happens, something called “transference” can occur. The emotions associated with one person — such as a parent — become transferred to the doctor. If you keep this in mind, it may help you to better handle your emotions.

DEAR ABBY: I was adopted at a year old by loving parents. Through a lifetime of hard work, they have become wealthy. Their generosity allowed my husband and me to buy our first home and start married life debt-free.

My problem is, their community and friends, including some of my husband’s and my own, often feel compelled to bring the subject up. I always thought it was rude to ask questions about other people’s finances, and I don’t know how to respond to their intrusive questions. I’m very aware of our unique situation, and I’m extremely grateful to my parents for the generosity we have received. How do I respond to friends and acquaintances when they bring up such a sensitive subject?

— Grateful in California DEAR GRATEFUL: When questions about your home or finances are raised, reply, “That’s very personal. My parents are generous, and my husband and I are grateful.”

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I disagree about how to handle taking our children shopping with us. I believe that, especially while our children are small (they are 3 and 5), the adult with them should keep them in sight at all times, or at least the majority of the time. If a child moves out of eyesight, the adult should find them within a minute. Are there guidelines on what is appropriate by age or developmental stage on this issue?

— Helicopter Mom and Free Range Dad DEAR HELICOPTER MOM: Your husband is an optimist, while you are a realist. Common sense should prevail. When you take your children to a public place, they should remain under your or your husband’s supervision at all times until they are aware enough that they can’t be lured away by a stranger. UNIVERSAL UCLICK