‘THE COMMUTER’

PG-13 1:44

There’s a moment when a life insurance agent wastes a sinister villain with the neck of a busted guitar and tosses him out of a speeding train.

Because why not?

It’s one of many scenes where Liam Neeson refuses to pump the breaks in a mystery/action hybrid so over-the-top that a Muppet conductor wouldn’t have surprised me. We’ve officially hit peak, late-career kick people first and ask questions later Neeson. Unless, of course, you’re hungry for another round of family members getting took, or should we say “Taken.” In “The Commuter,” director Jaume Collet-Serra (“Non-Stop,” “Run All Night”) re-teams with his favorite Irish leading man.

Michael MacCauley (Neeson) faces everyone’s greatest fear: public transportation. You can divide the movie into two narratives. The time when Neeson’s character is on a train and not on a train, where he interacts with friends and family in scenes that have almost no impact to the rest of the locomotive-filled film. In early scenes, is he having trouble with his wife (a criminally underutilized Elizabeth McGovern)? Why is this son assigning his dad a reading list? Who cares because once MacCauley loses his day job, he’s desperate enough to follow a stranger down a murderous rabbit hole for a load of cash after only a few hours of unemployment. Two mortgages really turn people into animals.

The plot’s almost not worth explaining because it’s built to be confusing rather than interesting, but actionseekers should know things veer more toward Agatha Christie more than they do “Pain on a Train.” MacCauley receives a series of vague clues concerning a passenger and paces back and forth through the commuter train like a mad dog lost in a cul-de-sac.

Neeson has to be half detective Hercule Poirot and half Jean-Claude Van Damme, which is to the film’s detriment. “The Commuter” doesn’t know how to balance those halves which leads to messy, poorly choreographed bursts of violence and Neeson screaming at everyone to calm down. I know this is fiction but SCREAMING “EVERYTHING IS FINE AND NO ONE WILL GET HURT” ISN’T REMOTELY RELAXING.

One villain, wearing a body camera I think, even goes so far as to start shooting at Neeson when both characters are surrounded by a dozen witnesses. It’s one of the many glaring plot holes that made me wish the movie knew how to slow down. That said, Neeson delivers enough intensity to warrant a sequel on an Uber or a tandem bicycle. I guarantee he could still make that work. “The Commuter” wants to drive hard but ends up being funny for all the wrong reasons.

If you punch this ticket then leave your brain on the platform.

Starring: Liam Neeson, Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson and Sam Neill. (Some intense action/violence and language)