Preparing hearts
Ash Wednesday on Valentine’s Day poses challenge for faithful: Feast or fast?
Ash Wednesday on Valentine’s Day poses a challenge for faithful: Feast or fast?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m a sinner and so are you.
The poem is perhaps an unconventional way of starting a homily. Nevertheless, the Rev. Joseph Alsay, rector of St. Augustine of Canterbury Episcopal Church, said he wrote it as a fitting beginning to his message at an annual church observance that happens to fall on a rather auspicious day in popular culture.
It turns out Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day coincide this year.
Ash Wednesday, marking the first day of the Christian season of Lent, is on Wednesday, which is also Valentine’s Day, the secular day celebrating love and relationships.
Christians observing Ash Wednesday typically attend solemn services focusing on the Lenten season, a time when people reflect on Christ’s sacrifice and suffering. During traditional Ash Wednesday services, ashes from palm branches are placed on the forehead of congregants in the sign of the cross. The ashes are christened with holy water and symbolize penance and contrition.
By contrast, Valentine’s Day is often a festive day known for an abundance of sweet treats, romantic dinners and other activities that highlight love and lovers. Despite being named after a Catholic saint, it’s not an official religious holiday.
Ash Wednesday and Lent are observed particularly in Catholic, Episcopal, Lutheran and United Methodist faith communities, although other Christian denominations often participate.
For observant Catholics, the confluence of Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day may present a challenge.
On Ash Wednesday, the faithful are asked to fast and abstain from meat.
Catholic leaders could grant special dispensation or an exemption from this rule but most haven’t done so.
Instead, leaders of many Catholic dioceses across the country have suggested that parishioners observe Ash Wednesday as usual and celebrate
Valentine’s Day on another day.
“In view of the significance of Ash Wednesday the obligation of fast and abstinence must naturally be the priority in the Catholic community,” the Archdiocese of Chicago said in a statement featured in a Chicago Tribune story. “Valentine’s Day can appropriately be celebrated the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday, which also happens to be Mardi Gras, a traditionally festive time before beginning our Lenten observance.”
And the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston shared their message on the issue via Twitter:
“This year’s Ash Wednesday is on Feb. 14, coinciding with Valentine’s Day. Due to the importance of Ash Wednesday in the Church, the Archdiocese is not granting dispensations from fasting or abstaining from meat on Feb. 14,” the archdiocese said in a tweet.
The Most. Rev. Paul S. Coakley, archbishop of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City, shared a similar statement on Thursday.
“I encourage those who wish to celebrate the secular holiday of Valentine’s Day to celebrate it on Mardi Gras the day before Ash Wednesday,” Coakley said. “That way they can celebrate and still keep the Lenten discipline of Ash Wednesday.”
Several priests in the Oklahoma City archdiocese said they are aware of the intriguing Ash Wednesday-Valentine’s Day mash-up.
The Rev. Rick Stansberry, pastor of Christ the King Catholic Church in Nichols Hills, said he has had several church members ask whether special dispensation will be granted for the day so that meat may be consumed and fasting put on hold. He said he told them that an exemption wouldn’t be forthcoming.
That won’t damper Valentine’s Day — people will just plan around it, he said.
Stansberry said some people have indicated they will have their Valentine’s dinner with meat included on either the Tuesday before or the Thursday after. Other couples have said they will go out for a special dinner but abstain from eating meat.
“I assume people will plan accordingly and have pasta or fish or something else. If you go out for Valentine’s dinner, you can just have salmon,” he said.
The Rev. Stephen Bird, pastor of Epiphany of the Lord Catholic Church, said he wasn’t surprised that most Catholic bishops aren’t granting special dispensation for Ash Wednesday.
“It’s just such a special day for the Church, and I think people embrace it very well. Mass is always very well attended on that day,” he said.
The Rev. Don Wolf, pastor of St. Eugene Catholic Church, also wasn’t shocked that exemptions aren’t being granted to the faithful for Valentine’s Day.
“I haven’t actually talked to anyone who has done more than remarked at the odd circumstance of Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday. Of course, we celibates don’t have much investment in the 14th of February, so it’s not a big deal for us. Without wives or sweethearts, it’s pretty much just an ordinary day for us,” Wolf said, joking. Coinciding observances present lessons
Several clergy leaders said the mash-up of the spiritual and secular observances presents some unique spiritual lessons for the coming Ash Wednesday observance.
The Rev. Justin Lindstrom, dean of St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral, said the mash-up could be a time to focus on the importance of having a relationship with the Lord.
“Lent is a time to focus on our need for God and how we in and of ourselves have a need for Him, so to have Ash Wednesday on a day celebrating relationships is somewhat appropriate,” he said.
Wolf said during Ash Wednesday and Lent, Christians are focused on the penitential season of preparing their hearts and lives for the truth of Christ’s suffering, death and resurrection.
“Unless we do something different, unless we go out of our way, we’re liable to let the ‘everydayness’ of our lives swamp what’s important and central,” he said.
Wolf said what couples are trying to do on Valentine’s Day is to set aside a time in which they can recognize and celebrate their love and commitment to one another. With Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day coinciding, it might be wiser for a couple to do both: to celebrate their love for each other and their need to prepare their hearts for the deep mysteries of the faith, he said.
“I personally think the couples should observe the discipline of Ash Wednesday through the fasting and abstinence the Church asks, as well as reserve a time for each other and spend a special moment to delight in each other. If it doesn’t seem quite right to be feasting and dancing on Ash Wednesday, then perhaps they might set aside a ‘date night’ and just spend time together, as a couple being a couple,” he said.
“I’m not one to give relationship advice, but it seems to me that being creative with their time might be the greatest invitation to recognize and celebrate the quality of the relationship they already have.”
Alsay at St. Augustine’s said it didn’t take long for him to think of the ways he could weave together the themes of Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day for his homily for the crowd at the noon Ash Wednesday service at church.
He said the cross is a symbol of God’s love for his Church, and its clergy will use ashes to place this symbol on the forehead of Ash Wednesday churchgoers.
“I can remind that them that we’re sinners, but because of the sign and the symbol, we are redeemed and loved by the true lover of our souls,” he said.
The clergy leader said like his opening poem, his homily could end with more lines of poetry that fit the thought-provoking mash-up:
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
God loves me and you, too