She wears short shorts?
For The Oklahoman
QUESTION: My cousin recently became engaged to a sweet young lady. The problem is her fashion choices. She wears clothing that is too short and not appropriate for family events. Any suggestions on how I could educate her and help her develop a new style?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: I would stay away from this — no need to be direct about her fashion choices.
My only suggestion is to ask her if she wanted to go shopping with you. Other than that, leave it alone.
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: I wouldn’t get involved in this situation unless she asked for your help.
But she likely has closer relatives or friends to whom she would turn for help in that department. After all, it sounds you have only recently gotten to know her.
You can specify on invitations to things like bridal showers or other parties what the attire is — “cocktail,” “casual,” etc., but you can’t call people out for interpreting those words differently.
The one time that I witnessed unsolicited fashion advice working well was when a former colleague took a young intern shopping (and bought clothes for her) to help offer some guidance on professional attire.
It seemed like a gift from a mentor to a student she was advising. But you are not the mentor nor, at the moment, a close friend that your cousin’s fiance would ask in regular circumstances.
So enjoy your new family member without criticism and recognize that you have different tastes.
If her attire is truly inappropriate, leave that for a close friend to tell her.
HELEN’S ANSWER: She probably thinks she is in style as dresses are definitely shorter these days. But, it is not your job to be the “fashion police” so probably the best thing to do is maintain your silence about this matter.
Enjoy getting to know your new family member and refrain from commenting about her attire.
QUEST’S ANSWER:Linda Miller, fashion expert and fashion blogger: Say nothing. Unless she asks for your help, it’s not your place to educate and help her develop a new style. Perhaps when she’s around her new family more often, she’ll follow their lead, fashion-wise.
Or maybe she’ll just think to herself that they could use a little help upping their fashion game. And she’ll say nothing.
Callie Athey is 20-something, Lillie-Beth Brinkman is in her 40s, and social columnist Helen Ford Wallace is 60plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen. wallace@cox.net.