Mother fears former abuser is targeting son

DEAR ABBY: I have a son from a previous relationship, and have been in a relationship with a man I’ll call Bryan for a year. Not long ago, Bryan confided to me that he and his brother had been molested by a female relative. I don’t know her. I have only met his parents.

This female relative has been asking about my son on social media because she has seen him in pictures with Bryan’s family. I want to tell her to back off, but so far, I have held off. I’m afraid if I do, I will cause problems because his parents don’t know what I know. My protective instinct has become very alert. I may be wrong, but I feel like she sees my son as a future target. What should I do?

— Mama Bear DEAR MAMA BEAR: Listen to your protective instinct. Talk with Bryan and tell him the woman’s questions are of concern to you, that you don’t want her to have any information about or contact with your child, and then make sure your wishes are respected. If she receives any message to back off, it should come from him, not you.

DEAR ABBY: On behalf of all new moms, please help with this question. Why does every woman in the world, it seems, feel entitled to ask new moms if they are breastfeeding their babies? How should new moms respond politely to this question? If you say yes, you may or may not be lying. If you say no, you will be judged. If you give an evasive answer, people will assume you are not and you will be judged as well. It seems to me that all substances excreted by the body should be off limits in social situations.

— My Business in Texas DEAR MY BUSINESS: Judgmental people can get to you only if you allow it. While there are valid reasons why babies should be breastfed, it isn’t always possible, and women should not be quizzed by strangers about whether they are. My mother used to advise readers who were put off by prying questions to say, “If you will forgive me for not answering that question, I’ll forgive you for asking.”

DEAR ABBY: A couple years ago, when we moved to a home with more privacy than our previous home, my husband decided to walk around naked all the time. It’s not that I’m a prude, but I don’t find his furry 60-year-old body attractive in broad daylight. Quite the opposite, in fact. I have asked him many times to please put something on, and he either ignores me or gets mad. I avert my eyes when he’s sashaying by me. Is there anything else I can do to reason with him?

— Seen Enough Already DEAR SEEN ENOUGH: Probably not. Since you can’t change him, why not join him one day a week? You have nothing to lose but your clothes — and it might solve the problem.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com.

UNIVERSAL UCLICK

On a game show that was trying to give away a vacation, the person describing the trip said, “You get 24-hour access to your hotel room.”

How often do you not get all-day access to your room?

Bridge players like to be able to get into one hand or the other at will -- they watch their entries. At first glance, that does not seem important in this deal, but it is.

How should South play in four spades after West leads the diamond queen?

In the auction, South might rebid three no-trump to show a maximum balanced hand. Here, North, with four trumps and a singleton, would retreat to four spades. Three no-trump has no chance, as is usual when several aces are missing.

In four spades, South has four losers: one in each suit. He cannot avoid the aces, so he must do something about the diamond problem -- but what?

Declarer needs to set up his club suit and discard a diamond from the dummy. But South has to watch his entries. He must take the first trick with dummy’s diamond king, then play a club to his king and West’s ace. Declarer wins the next diamond trick with his ace and cashes the club queen to jettison that pesky diamond eight. Finally, South can turn to the trump suit.

Note that if you discard a loser from the long-trump hand, that is the end of the problem. But if you pitch from the short-trump hand, you must also, sooner or later, ruff in the short-trump hand the loser that is still in the long-trump hand -- as in this deal. South takes four spades, one heart, two diamonds, two clubs and a diamond ruff on the board.