Grandparents can be models for grandkids
I became a grandpa recently, and I have to say it feels great, and it didn’t take that much work (on my part)! My daughter and son-inlaw honored us with a 7-pound, 10-ounce baby boy they named James Martin Howell.
I like the kid already. For starters, he has a great name. Plus, he comes from a great family. I’m not referring to me when I say “great family.” I’m referring to my own grandfather, who I knew only through stories and photos. I was born in June at a time when my Grandpa Tom knew he was dying.
“It’s a shame I won’t get to know him,” he said, in tears, as he held me in his arms. Grandpa died two months later, and although he didn’t get to know me, I certainly got to know him.
Grandpa Tom went to work in 1911 when he was only 11, taking the place of his own father, who had been killed in a coal mine cave-in. Tom was the oldest of four children and suddenly became the family breadwinner. That day was the end of his boyhood. The school principal came to his house and begged his mother to keep Tom in school because he was a bright boy. But the family needed to eat, and Tom had to quit school and work. Tom’s income put food on the table for his family, and he was a father figure to his two sisters and brother until the day he died.
Few of his years were easy, but that never prevented him from enjoying life. He was a man who always had a good time, whatever he was doing or wherever he went, and he created that atmosphere for those around him. His motto was “Have a good time wherever you go!”
Tom was always the leader in every group; he was loud and loved to argue. He could argue on any subject and take either side. He never had much formal education but was well read. Tom knew the Bible well and discussed it often, teaching Sunday school and doing some preaching. He was great at math and excellent in geography. He was interested in all sports and at one time was manager of a semipro basketball team. He loved everything and everybody. My father said, “I never knew him to not find something good about everyone.”
The man who never got a chance to know me became a physically absent, but spiritually present, role model for me. My own dad used to tell me, “You’re more like my father than anyone I’ve ever met,” and I considered that a high compliment. You see, my grandpa gave me a mark to shoot for, a model to live up to and an inspiration for my life. I proudly bear his last name and look forward to that day when we shall finally meet, face to face.
But in the meantime, I have work to do. I want to be a role model grandpa for Sweet Baby James. I want to give him what my grandpa gave me: a mark to shoot for, a model to live up to and an inspiration for life. That’s something all grandpas — and grandmas — can do. That’s the high calling of grandparents.
Jim Priest is CEO of Sunbeam Family Services and can be reached at jpriest@ sunbeamfamilyservices.org.