No pain, no gain?

Parents must set example vis a vis drinking

Surveys and studies indicate that the risk of teens smoking, drinking, getting drunk and using illegal drugs increases sharply if they are highly stressed, frequently bored or have substantial amounts of spending money.

Forty years ago, when my children were teenagers, we were quick to place the blame on a teen’s peer group.

But the pattern that is emerging is that it is no longer about fitting in with the crowd and simple experimenting.

We now know that teenagers too often view the use of alcohol and drugs as a solution to their problems.

Children develop attitudes toward drinking in general by observing their family members.

If a child sees a parent walk in the door from work and pop open a can of beer saying, “I need a drink after my day today!” he or she is likely to view alcohol as a way of dealing with stress.

If a child watches a parent go from sullen and quiet to happy and euphoric after a few drinks, then drinking may be seen as a way to have fun.

If a child lives with adults who drink until they get drunk on a regular basis, he or she can see that as acceptable and the goal of drinking.

While parents may not see themselves as heavy drinkers, please note The National Institutes of Health guidelines for “at-risk” or “heavy drinking.”

For men, more than four drinks on any day or 14 per week.

For women, more than three drinks on any day or seven per week.

Talking to your child about your concerns is important, but research indicates that warning about the dangers will have little effect if parents are not setting a good example.

Charlotte Lankard is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. Contact her at clankard@ oklahoman.com.