No thanks?
QUESTION: Found your email online from Iowa. Hopefully you can answer an etiquette question.
My two oldest grandchildren, ages 30 and 26, were evidently not taught to say “thank you.” Now the oldest, our granddaughter, is married with two children. We were not able to attend their Christmas party because of another commitment. Therefore, my gifts for those two children did not get there in time for Christmas. My granddaughter said she would get back to me with a time to bring them over. That invitation never came. Her brother was at our house 10 days ago so I sent the gifts with him to deliver, which he did.
I’m very disappointed to have never heard that she received them nor any kind of thank you. Would it be out of line to text her of my disappointment? I must tell you we live in same city but
have very little contact.
CALLIE’S ANSWER: I understand you wanting to make sure the children received the gift. I would simply call and ask. Give your granddaughter a break, writing thank-you notes might not be on her list. I’m sure she isn’t doing it on purpose. LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: It sounds like you’re hurt about your relationship with your granddaughter and what you perceive as a lack of interest on her part in spending time with you. Yes, she should have called and said thanks for the gifts. But now you can only start anew.
Ask about the gifts, too, but I wouldn’t confront her with disappointment. What about calling her with some ideas about how you can get together? Maybe in the busyness of the holidays — and having young children — she never got back around to spending time with you.
Young parents are overwhelmed. So are older parents, for that matter. But parents of young children are immersing themselves in a crazy world where attention spans swing widely from moment to moment. I am not trying