Finding American hospitality abroad
We didn’t expect it. We never would have thought to ask. But the culture of American generosity reached us even in the Caribbean island of Saint Martin.
The island country is a protectorate of France on one side (Saint Martin) and The Netherlands (Sint Maarten) on the other. The medical school is on the Dutch side.
Our son, Brian, invited us to come to his "white coat" ceremony, marking the beginning of his medical schooling at the American University of the Caribbean.
Last year a tremendous hurricane ripped across the island and raged over Puerto Rico, leaving devastation over the entire region.
It’s still tricky to find affordable lodging on the island, as structures are repaired and reroofed. We had planned to wedge ourselves in with Brian and Kelsi for a week, vacationing and helping them get ready for school.
We were carrying groceries up to the third floor on our second day when we met Carmen Bithoney, the landlord of three other apartments on the third floor.
Bithoney lives in Fayetteville, Georgia, but was raised in West Chester County, New York. She was on the island overseeing the restoration of the building where she owns apartments. With an undergraduate degree in business management and construction management, she knows what she’s doing.
But her restoration roots go even deeper. Her family has been in the business of restoring churches, mostly Catholic cathedrals, for four generations. Though her father created original murals in some churches, her specialty is restoring mosaics. “I’m not artistic, but I’m precise and more project oriented,” she explained.
Bithoney also has a master's degree in psychology. All of her training shows in her apartments. The two units we saw were tastefully decorated in soothing neutral tones, crisp whites, with simple attractive art on the walls. A view of palm trees, red tile roofs and a salt lagoon off the back balcony is the centerpiece of the décor.
“I wanted it to be a peaceful setting. Most of my tenants are medical students and this is a very stressful time for them.”
Though our son’s landlord next door had rushed to get their apartment ready for them, Bithoney was still installing fixtures, buying furniture, repairing plumbing and smoothing out glitches. Though she had several tenants eager to rent, she wanted it properly finished. But she offered it to us. In fact, she almost insisted that we stay next door in the almost-finished apartment.
“I just can't have a clear conscience when I have a nice bed and all the linens next door and not being used when I know you’re crowded in that little apartment,” she explained. “There’s absolutely no reason not to use it. I couldn’t be happy knowing that I didn’t share when I could. That’s got to be hard on your daughter-in-law.”
It seemed like she was taking a huge risk offering such a thing to strangers. But as we got to know her better, we realized that’s not uncharacteristic of Bithoney. She grew up in a large family with three sisters and three brothers.
“We were always part of a group, supporting each other. We were expected to live kindly.”
She attended Catholic schools throughout her entire education.
“Religion and kindness weren’t exactly preached in our home. It was just a way of life. We always knew that there was a better way to go through life than being self-centered.”
Bithoney met her husband, Bill, a pediatrician who she describes as wickedly smart and talented, at a children’s hospital function.
Bithoney supplied us with brandnew linens, a key, and requested that we make ourselves as comfortable as we could. She even apologized for any inconvenience the workers might cause as they went in and out to make repairs.
Bithoney is a generous, kind, friendly, and very smart woman. I’m proud that she’s an American.
Only in America, God bless it.