Rekindled romance still has same red flags
DEAR ABBY: I have rekindled a romance from my youth. “Jerry” and I were engaged to be married 47 years ago, but I felt he was too worldly and fast for me, so I broke off the engagement. I later married and had a happy marriage for 36 years until my husband died. Jerry found me on Facebook and started writing. He has been married and divorced five times. We eventually got together and have been seeing each other for almost two years now.
He wants us to get married, but I am again hesitant because our lifestyles are so vastly different. I enjoy spending time with him, but I’m also glad when he leaves. Many times I wish I had never answered his first letter. On the other hand, I have had some great times with him. We are so different in many ways — I’m not sure I can put up with some of the things he says and does. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I make up my mind what to do? I have broken up with him twice, but he manages to work his way back into my life. Please tell me what I should do or how to know what is right for me.
— Rekindled Romance DEAR REKINDLED: Listen closely to your intuition. If you are enjoying the relationship as it is, you should keep it that way. Because you are happy when Jerry leaves and have doubts about being able to tolerate things he says and does, it would be a mistake to wed a man who has struck out at marriage five times.
DEAR ABBY: After many years of fiscal responsibility, hard work and sacrifice, we are set to pay off the mortgage on our house this year. I want to throw an old-fashioned open house/home mortgageburning party and burn the mortgage in the smoker after the turkey is done. My wife and I never had a reception after our wedding so long ago. I think we are due a party to celebrate this milestone. My wife is against it. She says too many of our friends and family have financial troubles and a mortgageburning party would rub their noses in it. She has “loaned” her brother $50,000 over the years, and more to her friends. Most of them have yet to repay. I think a mortgageburning party would be an example for them to strive for and achieve, and we deserve to celebrate. Your answer will determine if we have the party. If you vote “yes,” you are invited.
— Big Achievement DEAR BIG: Mortgageburning parties went out of fashion decades ago for many reasons. Today many people choose to refinance their loan rather than pay it off. As much as I’d like to attend your party, I have to vote with your wife. To invite guests whom you know are having money troubles to such an event would be insensitive. If you are in a celebratory mood, by all means throw a party, but be discreet and refrain from flaunting your success in the faces of your guests.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby. com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
UNIVERSAL UCLICK
Kin Hubbard said, “Who remembers when we used to rest on Sunday instead of Monday?”
In this column, you get to rest on Sunday. I had further thoughts about last Monday’s deal, realizing that if the defenders’ hands changed slightly, declarer would make his four-heart contract in a different way.
West leads the diamond five, East wins with the ace and returns the diamond three. What should declarer do?
West might have started with a low club. This would have worked perfectly if East had won with his 10 and switched to a low diamond.
Last week, the trumps were 3-1, so dummy had none left after declarer had drawn them. He then played spades from the top and got home when the jack dropped. He took four spades and six hearts. Today, though, hearts are 2-2 and spades unfavorable. So, after ruffing at trick two, South cashes the heart ace and plays a heart to the king. When that denudes the defenders, declarer should ruff dummy’s last diamond in his hand. He cashes the spade ace and spade queen, then plays a spade to the king. When West discards a diamond, the contract has become a certainty; South does not need West to hold the club ace. Declarer leads dummy’s spade 10, East covers with the jack, and South discards a club.
East is endplayed. If he shifts to a club, dummy’s king takes a trick, and declarer wins three spades, six hearts and one club. Or if East leads his last diamond, South sluffs another club from his hand and ruffs on the board to take three spades and seven hearts.