In life, you can’t have gain without pain

‘Stay ahead of the pain” is a phrase I’ve heard oftenafter a surgery. I get it. Debilitating pain can make your life miserable, so when we find ourselves in that kind of pain, we are wise to manage it. But I cringe when I read, “How to live pain-free.” The only way to be pain free is to be dead.

Pain is a fact of life. There is the pain of leaving something behind or walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown. There is the pain of failure. Someone dies. Relationships end. Career changes are forced. What we’d hoped for doesn’t happen. We may have something wrong emotionally, mentally or physically and the pain is a signal that something needs our attention. It is a reminder to ask for help.

Pain can prompt us to change a behavior, leave an abusive relationship, meet with a support group or have some visits with a counselor. Pain can guide us to make an appointment with a doctor or work with a physical therapist. In my case, after living with chronic and increasing physical pain for 20-plus years after a climbing accident, I found surgical relief with a back fusion.

While no one welcomes pain, it serves a purpose. If our hands come in contact with a burning surface, pain tells us to jerk them away before we are severely harmed. If too small shoes are rubbing blisters and causing sores, pain tells us to wear different shoes. If we are in an abusive workplace, pain tells us we don’t want to spend our days that way.

Author Jim Butcher says “Growing up is all about getting hurt and then moving on. Odds are pretty good you’ll get hurt again, but each time, pain teaches you. Sometimes it leaves you wiser. Sometimes it leaves you stronger.”