Peace comes from accepting unknowns, imperfections
Iwant a peaceful life. As a young adult, I went looking for it as something outside myself. I have since learned that peace comes from within.
Without being aware, I look back and see I often created my own chaos by putting my own needs last. I finally understood the only person who knows what is best for me — is me. Of course, that also meant I gave up the right to be an authority on anyone else’s behavior.
The inner chaos began to fade when I stopped being afraid of “what might happen.” Change is a given and I was giving up my peace of mind by endlessly worrying about the “what ifs” that might never occur. I was missing the here and now.
I stopped dwelling in the past. The past cannot be changed. Instead I began to use my energy to make the changes necessary to live a life with fewer regrets today.
I came to realize that the negative things I think about myself have mostly come from what someone else said to me when I didn’t do what they wanted, so I stopped the negative self talk because it may not be accurate and it is not helpful.
I stopped overthinking everything, because it is wasting energy to be indecisive for a long period of time. I learned to make a decision based on the best information at the time. If it is a mistake, I can learn from it and make a different choice.
I stopped thinking I had to be perfect and allowed myself to be human a being — flawed, but improving.
Charlotte Lankard is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. Contact her at clankard@oklahoman.com.