Widow cuts contact with her stepfamily
DEAR ABBY: Our father died nine months after his diagnosis with cancer. Within six months of his funeral, our stepmother of 20-plus years had begun a new relationship. She sold her and Dad’s home and belongings and moved across the country, leaving behind her children, stepchildren and grandchildren. Although she promised to keep in touch with everyone, she hasn’t. She has made no effort to reach out to her stepfamily over the last year and a half, not even her grandchildren. We are perplexed, as she claimed our father was the love of her life and she dearly loved her grandchildren.
A few of us tried contacting her during the first six months after she left, but she usually responded only to texts, and then with one-word answers. We realize she has moved on, but how could she cut all ties with those she supposedly cared for? What are we missing? What is it that we don’t understand about being 60-something and widowed?
We feel abandoned and betrayed. We supported her in her decisions and her remarriage (which is the last time we had any contact with her). Please advise, Abby.
— Baffled Out West DEAR BAFFLED: Her new husband has something to do with the silence. He may be controlling because he is threatened by the idea that she had a full life previously. It may also be that she prefers to devote her time and efforts to him and his relatives rather than dwell in the past. My advice is for you all to move on. It’s impossible to maintain a relationship with someone who doesn’t want one.
DEAR ABBY: I am a very open person, but one thing I am not open about is the STD I have been living with for the last few years. My ex didn’t know he had it, and he gave it to me. Now free of him, I’m ready to date again, but I’m afraid of the judgment I may receive from potential partners. I have heard all kinds of stigmatizing, dehumanizing and cruel comments about STDs, and I wonder to myself if people were better educated about this, maybe they wouldn’t sound so ignorant. Unfortunately, I don’t have the emotional strength to deal with rejection right now. So what I’m trying to ask is, how do I go about dating with an STI/STD?
— Moving Forward
in Michigan DEAR MOVING FORWARD: Nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur EVERY YEAR in this country. Knowing other individuals are going through what you are may help you to feel less isolated and stigmatized. An excellent resource for you would be the American Sexual Health Association, which provides all sorts of reliable information for people with STIs/STDs. The website is ashastd. org. There are also commercial dating sites and apps that cater to people with STIs and STDs.
When you are the declarer in three no-trump, you need to win nine tricks. That might seem to be selfevident, but it is overlooked by some players.
In this example from last month’s World Youth Bridge Team Championships in China, several declarers went down in three no-trump after taking the first trick with dummy’s spade queen. What should they have done?
In this auction, North’s double was fit-showing, indicating three-card heart support.
South started with eight top tricks: one spade (given the first trick), three hearts, three diamonds and one club. One declarer playing on Bridge Base Online immediately crossed to his hand with a heart and led a club to dummy’s queen. East won with the king and returned the spade 10, so the defenders took five fast tricks.
Hendrik Febriyanto from Indonesia did much better. He immediately cashed dummy’s three diamond winners. When the nine and jack obligingly dropped, the diamond eight was his ninth trick.
If the diamonds had been less obliging, I expect Febriyanto would have tried for a 3-3 heart split. Then, if necessary, he would have taken the club finesse. However, as Barry Rigal, the head vugraph commentator, pointed out, the club finesse was a mirage. If it were winning, declarer didn’t need to take it. After trying the diamonds, South should cash dummy’s club ace(!), then test hearts. If West has four hearts, South endplays him in the suit, hoping t hi ithtik ithth d ki lb