Good parenting starts with healthy parents

Being a good parent is one of the most important jobs an adult can have.

Parenting does not come naturally to everyone, but you can learn from others who’ve made the journey.

Jaimie Sullivan is one of those persons. I met her years ago. She was an Oklahoma mom with three children, ages 9 to 19, and she authored a blog titled “What Makes a Good Parent?”

She started with the premise that the first thingparents need to do is tend to themselves, making sure they are becoming a healthy and wise adult. If parents are unhappy, they are much more likely to resort to criticism and angry outbursts.

If one is a single parent, expose the children to other healthy friends and family members who can provide additional support for both parent and child and can be a help in mentoring the children as they grow older.

She also believed it is important for children to see a healthy relationship between the parents, and encouraged moms and dads to get help, if needed, to strengthen their relationship. I would add this is true even when parents are divorced.

And more wisdom. When you are angry at your children and feel as if you can’t control your anger, tell them you’re angry and need to take a break. Ask for forgiveness when you make a mistake. This allows children to know it’s OK not to be perfect and also provides an example of how to behave responsibly when they mess up. Be honest with your children. If you don’t know the answer to a question, look it up. If your child brings home artwork that is less than perfect, you don’t have to tell them it is amazing. You can simply say, “I likeit, and I love you and it reminds me of you, so it’s going on the refrigerator.”