Finding a box of happiness for Christmas

“For Christmas I’d like a box of ‘happiness,’” a lady sitting in my office told me. I suspect there are lots of folks who also wish it would come neatly packaged and left under the tree to be opened Christmas morning.

Bill O’Hanlon, psychotherapist, author and inspirational speaker, says his definition of happiness includes a sense of well-being and a joyful, contented life. Who wouldn’t want that? He also says it just takes four things, and the acronym is easy to remember S.O.A.P.

S. SOCIAL CONNECTIONS. Good, intimate relationships with five, or more, close friends, which can include family members.

O. OPTIMISM. The optimist says, “Bad stuff happens, but I will find a way to get through it.” This person takes action despite how he’s feeling. The pessimist says, “The bad stuff is permanent and out of my control” and settles into depression.

A. APPRECIATION. The habit of gratitude. Giving thanks. Expressing your appreciation — either spoken or in writing — especially to a friend or family member you may find annoying.

P. PURPOSE. Finding ways to be of service to others. It may be through your job or your church, as a neighbor or as a volunteer.

If you look at the four suggestions, you see they are about intentionally turning your attention from yourself to others extending a hand, offering a friendship, some thanks, some help and some hope. The key is to practice that daily.

We might do well to remember the words of English author and art critic John Ruskin: “When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.”