This season, give thanks for lessons learned

Thanksgiving Day is easier for some than others. There are years that hold an inordinate amount of darkness, and I think it is wise to acknowledge that. If we don’t, we run the risk of moving forward while holding onto our pain and our anger and our sadness, and they can become like old friends we don’t want to give up.

To be honest, it has never made a lot of sense to me for us to go around saying we’re thankful for things gone wrong a friend we can no longer trust, the death of someone we love, an abusive relationship, mistakes we’ve made, broken relationships or poor health.

So, Thanksgiving Day is upon us. What are we to do?

I believe we do NOThave to say we are thankful for the circumstances or the people in our lives that bring hurt, but rather than putting the emphasis on the brokenness and the pain, we can remember the countless friends who wrote, walked beside us, prayed, visited, cooked, cleaned, cared for our children, and those who laughed and cried with us. We can give thanks for the lessons we’ve learned.

When we can find something for which to be thankful in the midst of people or experiences for which we are NOT thankful, the way forward becomes easier. While gratitude does not make the pain go away, it has a way of seeing us through, and it can give us moments of quiet and calm. And on those days when we feel like we can no longer bear it, just a moment of peace, here and there, can make a difference.