When you need help caring for aging parent

DEAR SAVVY SENIOR: Where can I turn for caregiving help? I help take care of my 78-year-old mother and work, too, and it’s wearing me to a frazzle. — Exhausted Daughter DEAR EXHAUSTED: Taking care of an aging parent over a period of time can be physically and mentally exhausting. But help and resources are available. To help you determine and prioritize the kinds of help you need, a good first step is to make a list of everything you do as a caregiver, big and small. Note the amount of time each one takes every day, week or month. Identify the times when you need help the most and which tasks others might be able to do for you. Then list the types of care needed, such as simple companionship or doing active chores, like food shopping. Once you determine this, here are some tips and places you can reach out to for help.

Caregiving help

If you have siblings or other loved ones close by, schedule a family meeting to discuss specific tasks they could provide. See if friends, neighbors or faith group members could help, too. You also should investigate resources in your mom’s town. Many communities offer a range of free or subsidized services that help seniors and caregivers with basic needs. Call your Area Agency on Aging (800-677-1116) for referrals to services available in your community, or for respite services, go to ARCHrespite.org/ respitelocator. If you can afford it, you may want to hire someone part-time to help with things like preparing meals, housekeeping or even personal care. To find someone, ask for referrals through your mom’s doctor or area hospital discharge planners, or try websites like Care.com, CareLinx.com, CareFamily.com or CareSpotter.com. If you’re handling your mom’s financial chores, make things easier by arranging for direct deposit for her income sources, and set up automatic payments for her utilities and other routine bills. You also may want to set up your mom’s online banking service, so you can pay bills and monitor her account. Or, if you need help, hire a daily money manager (AADMM.com) to do it for you. They charge between $25 and $100 per hour.

Technology assistance

To help you keep tabs on your mom when you are away at work or if she lives alone, there are affordable technologies that can help. Medical alert systems (like Bay Alarm Medical, BayAlarmMedical.com) provide a wearable “help button” that would allow your mom to call for help anytime she needed it. Or, you could install a video-monitoring camera (like Lighthouse Al, Light. house/elderly-care) that lets you check in on her via your smartphone or computer.

Insurance questions?

If you have questions about Medicare, Medicaid or long-term care, your State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) offers free counseling and advice on these issues. Call 877-839-2675 or go to ShiptaCenter.org to locate a nearby counselor. You also can get help through the Medicare Rights Center, which staffs a help-line at 800333-4114.

Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or go to SavvySenior.org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.