Should finders become reward keepers?
QUESTION: How do we reply when a person leaves a card and money in at our front door for finding their dog? My husband feels embarrassed. We are considering giving some to the Humane Society. Do we let them know this, send a card thanking them, or what? I think they knew we would know we would turn it down because they only gave their last name on the card. I know where the lady works but would have to leave the money at front desk.
CALLIE’S ANSWER :No need to respond. They are thanking you — responding would mean thanking them for thanking you. Ha!
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: The thoughtful way you are thinking this through shows that however you handle it will be the right way. You didn’t find the dog hoping for a reward, and the people who lost the dog wanted to show their gratitude. If you want to donate it and let them know, that is a nice gesture, but it is also OK for you to do nothing, since they are thanking you.
HELEN’S ANSWER: Evidently the people who the dog belongs to are very thankful to you for finding their pet. They wanted to do something for you and chose this generous gift. Accept it in the spirit of their happiness, or, donate it if you want to. But enjoy knowing they are much happier during the holiday season with their treasured dog at home.
GUEST’S ANSWER: Richard Rosser, author of “Piggy Nation,” a series of books, a cartoon and more on etiquette: In time of mean-spirited people, I think it’s incredible that you, your husband and the person whose dog you found are so selfless. It’s wonderful to read about compassionate, sensitive, caring folks who do the right thing for the right reason.
The woman obviously appreciated you returning her dog! I think it’s fitting that you would donate a portion of the money, in one of these three ways: 1. Anonymously. 2. In the dog’s name. Ask the Humane Society to send the woman a thank-you note. 3. In the woman’s name. Have the Humane Society send her a letter so she can write the amount off as a charitable donation. In the end, you’ve helped save her dog and others through the Humane Society! May all dog owners be so lucky that their lost pup finds its way to people like you!
Callie Athey is 20-something, Lillie-Beth Brinkman is in her 40s, and social columnist Helen Ford Wallace is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.