Grandma is collateral damage in man's feud

DEAR ABBY: I'm close to 70 and have three grown children. I've been a widow for 15 years. My oldest son, age 45, has pretty much cut himself off from our fairly close family. His reason: Two years ago, after I had surgery for lung cancer, he claims I told him I wished I had never had children. This couldn't be further from the truth.

My other children decided the hospital was overmedicating me and that most of what I was babbling was nonsense.

I have no problem dealing with my son's attitude; I'm a realist. The problem is the way it's affecting my 90-year-old mother, who lives with me.

How can we convince him he's ripping his grandmother's heart out when he won't talk to either of us? — Bewildered in Florida

DEAR BEWILDERED: If this is the ONLY reason for the estrangement from your son— which I doubt— have his siblings talk to him and point out that: (1) You were so drugged up after your surgery you were not in your right mind, therefore you shouldn't be punished or held responsible for any gibberish that came out of your mouth during that period, and (2) it is wrong to punish Granny in such a heartless fashion for something that has nothing to do with her.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Universal Uclick