Verbal abuse leaves unseen scars

Physical abuse is easy to see. Verbal abuse leaves scars that go unseen.

Verbal abuse often comes from someone who says they love you — a spouse, partner, parent or a sibling. It may also come from an authority figure like a boss. “You're too sensitive.” “You can't take a joke.” “Your imagination is working overtime.”

“You take everything wrong.”

“You must be crazy.” Statements like this lead you to believe you are

responsible for your loved one being angry or distant, fed up with you, or disdainful of you.

If this is the pattern in your relationship, you will likely become depressed, stay anxiously on guard and find yourself always trying to get it right.

Worse, people who are verbal abusers behind closed doors, are typically seen as nice and friendly by friends and coworkers.

While we may recognize name-calling as verbal abuse, so are discounting, judging, criticizing, disguised jokes, undermining, threatening, ordering, denial, and anger that is used to intimidate.

Females are more likely to report it, but men experience verbal abuse as well. Because they may be embarrassed for anyone to know, they often live quietly with pain and confusion, all the while their self-esteem eroding.

Women and men who live with verbal abusers are under constant stress and may eventually find themselves with a variety of physical illnesses — gastrointestinal problems, back pain, tension headaches and exhaustion.

It is simply not true that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Though not visible, hurtful words can leave scars deep inside that no one sees.