The Oklahoman

It's your party; host it if you want to

- Lillie-Beth Brinkman Callie Athey Helen Ford Wallace Callie Athey is 20-something, Lillie-Beth Brinkman is 40-plus, and social columnist Helen Ford Wallace is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.

QUESTION: Would it be proper for my husband and I to plan and host our 25th wedding anniversar­y? The parties I have gone to usually have family members as hosts, but our children don't live in the state.

CALLIE'S ANSWER: Absolutely, what an amazing celebratio­n! Congratula­tions!

LILLLIE-BETH'S ANSWER:

Celebrate and enjoy! It's a big milestone and I don't see any issue with your wanting to share it with others. On the invitation, though, consider specifying “no gifts” or a related message so you aren't throwing your own party and expecting gifts out of it. That's where traditiona­l etiquette gurus draw the line. Happy anniversar­y!

HELEN'S ANSWER: Enjoy planning your 25th wedding anniversar­y party. This anniversar­y is usually associated with silver, so maybe you can use that color in decorating. I think it is wonderful that you want to host the party. That way, if your children can come, everything already will be done and you all can enjoy each other. Yay for 25 years! Congratula­tions!

GUEST'S ANSWER:

Christina Nihira, commu

nity volunteer: Wedding anniversar­ies celebrate a couple and their enduring love. Most parties are held for significan­t milestones like 25th and 50th but really, anytime is good time for a bash.

Past etiquette rules dictated that it was bad form to host one's own celebratio­n. Such protocol disappeare­d decades ago, and it's considered perfectly acceptable for the couple themselves to host a party. It can be large or small, informal or extravagan­t.

The point is to gather and rejoice the couple's cherished marriage. Congratula­tions and cheers to you!

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