PAWS AND EFFECT
Marni Jameson offers eight reasons not to get a dog, and explains why she has three
Having a dog in my life has always been a priority. I just never intended to have three.
I ask myself every time my pack greets me at the door as if I am an ice cream cone on a hot day: Who in their right mind would have three dogs?
Before you put me in the category of those women who have 17 cats, where I may belong, let me explain.
Four years ago, I was sadly petless. When DC came to the table, and later the altar, with Peapod as a package deal, I was delighted to have a dog in my life again.
Peapod did not share my enthusiasm. She still finds me superfluous. Because I wanted a dog that loved me, two years ago, I adopted Pippin.
All was domestically under control, so, naturally, we had to mess that up.
Four months ago, not long after I thought it safe to buy a beautiful off-white sectional for the family room, we rescued Luke (better known around here as MarmaLuke or Lukamotion or Luklear War) from one of our kids. The rambunctious, 1-yearold, 50-pound hound had become too much for a household with two working parents and two tots under 3.
With a head like a wrecking ball, a tail like a whipsaw and the hind legs of a wallaby, MarmaLuke crashed into our home, a hand grenade detonating several decor and lifestyle changes, all of which have made us — if not our home — better.
Because I am not suggesting you follow in these pawprints, I'm listing here eight reasons not to
get a dog.
However, if you get one anyway, here, too, are some doggie decor and lifestyle tips to help make them a beautiful part of your home:
They want in and out
As the poet Ogden Nash said, “A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.” Fortunately, today we have electronic dog doors. Pets wear smart keys on their collars, which unlock their pet doors so they go can in and out at will.
They track in dirt
Years ago I learned that the easiest way to live with dogs, children and messy spouses was to meet havoc halfway. Don't set yourself up for failure with white carpet and silk chairs. Get flooring the color of your dirt.
Pick patterned rugs. The busier the print, the more sins it hides. Select rugs
and upholstery fabric that include the color of your dog's fur. Washable area rugs, like those available through Ruggable (https:// ruggable.com/pages/pets) can give you a leg up when your dog lifts his.
They have accidents
If it's not one end, it's the other. Buy the industrial size container of Nature's Miracle and paper towels in bulk.
They get on furniture
You might not mind, but I do. Although Peapod and Pippin know better than to jump on the sofa, Lukamotion is still learning. For the first two months, he treated the sectional as part of his lap track. Had I known Luclear War was coming, I might have shopped for a more pet-friendly sectional, such as those offered through Interior Define (https:// www.interiordefine.com/ kid-and-pet-friendly
fabrics).
Find upholstery fabrics made of sturdy synthetic fibers with high rub counts (30,000 plus) like Krypton or Sunbrella. Leather also stands up well. Get dogs their own good-looking beds, so they have a comfortable place that's just theirs.
They get into stuff
One benefit of this behavior is that Luke has gotten my husband to clean up his prolific paper piles, accomplishing in mere days what I have not been able to achieve in nearly four years of marriage. Now, if DC doesn't clean up, Luke will.
For example, shortly after we got MarmaLuke, DC had his family photos, from the 30 years pre-me, organized and sent to scanmyphotos.com (https:// www.scanmyphotos.com/) to digitally store them for posterity. The DVDs arrived by FedEx. Luke found the package on the counter and chewed it to smithereens.
I texted a photo of the damage to Mitch Goldstone, owner of Scan My Photos, who retrieved all the photos from the cloud, and sent me another set of discs the next day.
Back up what matters. Keep important stuff out of snout reach. Give your pup lots of safe chew toys to occupy them.
They shed
Loose pet fur is a pain, which is why many of my dog-owning friends love their robotic vacuum cleaners, like those made by Roomba (https://www. irobot.com/roomba).
If you don't get a nonshedding dog, get lint brushes for your closet, car and office.
They slop
Our pups treat the communal water bowl like a kiddie pool. A 1-gallon gravity-dispensing water bowl put an end to their splash fests. They get clean water as needed, and my wood floors stay dry.
They have stuff
If dogs are going to be part of your life, lean in. Design them into your home decor by adding beautiful bowls (Bone Appetit!), fetching treat jars, handsome leash hooks, and hearty toy bins.
Yes, pets require sacrifice. But that's a sweet surrender in exchange for their affection, devotion, and ability to put life's hard edges into soft focus.
A dog may be a small part of your life, but you are all of theirs. Having one is an honor. So, above all, be kind.