The Oklahoman

Woman feels widening gap in relationsh­ip

- Jeanne Phillips

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a relationsh­ip with a man who lives eight hours away. We met last year through a dating site while he was in my area on a business trip but lost contact shortly after he returned home. We recently reconnecte­d and have been talking and/ or texting daily since. I'm looking for a job in his area, and he is in favor of that.

Ever since the last time I visited him (a week ago), his texts have become less romantic and there are fewer of them. We also haven't talked on the phone as often. He works 60-plus hours a week and sees his children on weekends, so I understand his time is limited. (However, he made time for me until a week ago.)

Today I asked him if he was still interested in me. I pointed out that I haven't heard from him as often as I did before my last visit, and I'm getting the feeling he's lost interest. He said he hasn't lost interest; he has just been busy. He went on to say he doesn't have time to be on the phone with me 24/7, and my pessimism bothers him. I responded that I don't think it's unreasonab­le to want to hear from him at least once a day if we are in a committed relationsh­ip, especially since we don't have the luxury of being able to spend time together often. Is it too much to ask to hear from him on a daily basis? After all, I am willing to relocate for him.

— Serious in the South

DEAR SERIOUS: It's entirely possible that he has been busy in the week since your visit.

It is also possible that he's feeling pressured because of your impending move, and you have picked up on the fact that he is distancing himself. I suggest you slow down that move. Don't push or smother him. Give him a chance to pursue YOU for a while. His reaction to that will tell you everything you need to know.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was terminally ill when a GoFundMe account was set up on Facebook to help raise money for his expenses. He has since passed away, and after the medical expenses were paid, there's still quite a bit of money left over. My question is, who does that money belong to? My mother-in-law says the money should be split between me and my stepdaught­er. I think the money belongs only to me. Please comment.

— Maria in California

DEAR MARIA: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. Before grabbing the money, ask yourself what your HUSBAND would want. Would there be any reason not to share it with his daughter? If the answer to that question is no, then listen to your mother-in-law and do as she suggests.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. UNIVERSAL UCLICK

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