Bouquet arrives in shabby condition

DEAR ABBY: Is there a delicate way for me to tell my boyfriend not to use the same online floral delivery service again? The birthday bouquet he had delivered to me arrived with limp, wilted, torn petals and leaves and broken stems. It was one of those box-of-flowers deliveries. I doubt my boyfriend realized they would not arrive in a vase and arranged by a florist. Instead, they had been packed in a box, without water, with the vase packed alongside, delivered by a regular package courier. I usually send him a photo of my bouquet along with my heartfelt thanks, and while I thanked him as usual, I did not send a picture of the bouquet because I knew he would feel bad — both about the lackluster arrangement, and the money he had spent on them. I found what I believe was the intended arrangement on the website, and it was lovely — a far cry from what was delivered to me. I love my twice-a-year flowers (birthday and Christmas), and I don't want to come across as critical or ungrateful. I am blessed to have such a thoughtful partner. If flowers were just a onetime gift, I would not even consider mentioning it. However, with Valentine's Day approaching, I wonder if I should let my boyfriend

know that it might be better to use a local florist to ensure he is getting his money's worth. Or should I just cross my fingers that it was a one-off?

— Ungrateful Girlfriend

DEAR “UNGRATEFUL”: Tell your boyfriend why you didn't send him a photo of the flowers he sent as you usually do. He may be able to get a refund.

DEAR ABBY: I'm one half of a female best friend duo in our early 30s. We both live with clinical depression, and my friend also has ADHD. During most of our 20s, neither of us did a good job of coping with these issues, but we were able to laugh it off together. Now, after putting in a lot of work, I'm finally in a healthy place, and I intend to continue getting better from here.

My best friend, however, is managing her own mental health as poorly as ever. She doesn't have the interest or the motivation to help herself the way I have, and she resents when others try to talk to her about it. I sense she wishes I was like I used to be. I'm starting to feel like being around her is no longer healthy for me, but I don't know what to do. I don't have many other friends. I live out of state from my family, and I still love her dearly. How should I proceed?

— Self-helper in California DEAR SELF-HELPER:

Proceed by continuing to move forward. Seek out new activities Do not drop her. Do not let her deter you from your healing.