Parents struggle to do what's best for tormented daughter

DEAR ABBY: My 53-yearold daughter is an addict. First it was alcohol, then hard drugs and opioids. This has been going off and on for 40 years.

She hit bottom recently. She became homeless and ended up in a women's shelter in another state. She says she's been clean about six months. The shelter helped her find a place to live, and she draws a disability check, so she has everything she needs.

She constantly contacts me and her father saying she wants to come home. We have helped her to the point of mental, physical and financial exhaustion, and we just can't go there again. It's the most difficult thing we've ever gone through. We know we shouldn't continue to enable her, but if we don't, we feel like terrible parents. Any advice would be much appreciated. — Terrible Parents in Indiana

DEAR PARENTS: You already know what will happen if you cave in to your daughter's begging to “come home.” From now on, when she asks, remind her that she already IS home, in the place the people from the shelter helped her to find. Her troubles have nothing to do with you.

They are the result of the life she created for herself. You already know that enabling her hasn't worked. The time has come for you and your husband to take better care of yourselves.

DEAR ABBY: With the stay-at-home order still in place in many states, take-out or delivery is the only option for nights when we don't want to cook. How much should we be tipping the people who deliver our food? With sites like Grubhub, which offer free delivery, do these drivers/deliverers get paid? I feel bad for someone coming to my house and leaving a bag of food on my doorstep, and I want to make sure they are compensated. How much would be a reasonable tip?

— Likes My Delivery

DEAR LIKES: The Grubhub website recommends a $5 or 20% tip — whichever is greater. When you tip, the money goes straight to the delivery drivers, as it should. Some orders may include an ADDITIONAL delivery fee, but it is not a tip, and drivers don't receive that money, so make sure not to deduct it from the amount you tip. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.