Amid dark times, look and listen for God's light
Al i ttle over a year ago, my husband, Jerry, was in Mercy Hospital for surgery, expecting to stay a few days.
Instead, we were there for weeks. It was a scary time when things didn't go as expected. Like so many others have experienced, my days were made up of trips from home to the hospital and time waiting on medical answers and positive changes.
One Sunday morning, I woke up hours before dawn and headed to the hospital. After a few long hours, I left for a break. I was worried and tired. On the way to my car, I heard one of my husband's favorite sounds — a mockingbird's song.
Where in this concrete block of an Oklahoma City hospital parking lot could a mockingbird be?
In better days, Jerry and I would spot mockingbirds during a neighborhood walk. They were usually perched at the highest spot on a tree. That Sunday morning, standing in the middle of a parking lot, there was hardly a twig in sight. But looking up, I saw him — on the top of a giant light pole, singing his heart out, like the world was his stage. It was such a heavenly gift for me, and I knew it would be for Jerry so I took out my phone and started recording.
I was totally into it when I felt someone walk up to me. This woman stood right next to me for a moment and then said, “What do you see that I don't?”
I told her my story with this bird and why it made me happy. But her question lingers with me still.
What do you see that I don't?
Lord, what do You see, that I don't?
Do you see people with heads down and beatendown attitudes? In those weeks of Jerry's medical situation, I had become totally focused on our worries. I was praying and believing in God's provision, but my gaze also had become downcast, not trusting God's goodness.
Discouragement and despair are powerful, heavy, twins that can take any set of circumstances and bind us up with them so tightly that the light becomes dim and hope uncertain.
Lord, Who do I see? When I read the Gospels, it seems Jesus was always seeing individuals. He would be surrounded by crowds, people clamoring for His attention, and yet He would notice a person. My favorite is the woman who simply sought to touch the hem of His garment. She didn't even try to catch His eye or tap on His shoulder or grab His arm; she just wanted to go unnoticed but touch the lowest most unobserved part of Him, the bottom of His long garment. Yet He knew. He didn't just feel her presence; He noticed her, and His compassion flowed out. Her faith, His love — a person made whole.
Lord, what do You send that I miss?
What a difference that mockingbird's song made in our situation. It was a sacred reminder of the beautiful creation that is all around.
A few weeks ago, I was driving west very early in the morning after a strong rain. The sky in the west was dark, and set against it was the most vibrant rainbow I've ever seen. I could tell from the posts on social media that many people were lifted by that fleeting sight.
For my husband, the week after the mockingbird's song, everything turned and he made a complete and rapid recovery. But I know life does not always have happy endings. The reality is that the world can be harsh, circumstances can be brutal, but God's hope and compassion can light up the darkest scene if we have eyes to see and ears to hear.