Turning grief into blessing for others can bring healing
Lately I've been reading Mark Batterson's book “Double Blessing.” One chapter talks about hard times and God flipping our “hurts to help others heal.”
That has certainly played out in my life and also in the lives of many women friends. The hardship I experienced in my young adult years almost derailed my life. But, as I look back, those problems have been flipped to become some of my greatest blessings.
Kay Murcer is also an example. Some of you will remember Bobby Murcer, a New York Yankee All Star who went on to become a broadcaster for the Yankees for 24 years. Bobby and Kay were childhood sweethearts growing up in Oklahoma City. They were tethered to a baseball life and humbly accepted Bobby's national celebrity status. Then, all too young, Bobby had brain cancer. Together with Kay, they made that medical fight an inspirational time for others. But the result was Bobby's death. This beautiful, successful couple was no longer a twosome with children. Their life with baseball was no more. Who was Kay without Bobby?
I reached out to this courageous friend recently. I knew Kay would be involved with her family, be remembering Bobby and be finding a way to serve others through her faith in God. Kay has allowed God to flip her grief into blessing in what she calls “recycled love.” Kay writes:
“Last Wednesday, Oct. 14, Bobby and I would have celebrated our 54th wedding anniversary. I've never really needed the calendar to remind me of the happiest moments and special times we enjoyed for the 42 years we were together but, it's still a redletter day in my heart. Time and a move closer to our Dallas kids have been the two physical healers of my broken heart, but God, as always, directed my path toward the next phase of my life after Bobby. The Great Healer knew exactly where I belonged, and I was transplanted into a community of widows. My work with a group called `The Widow's Journey' has given me a new purpose. It's been six years of sharing life lessons, mentoring new widows and continuing to lean forward with love.
“I think grief and loss need to skate at their own pace. Some days you're in the rink, gliding to `Groovin' during the All Skate freestyle — good. Then, on the drive home in the car, George Benson's `Breezin' starts up, and you suddenly flashback to spring training in Florida 10 years earlier, riding together on the intercoastal highway, loving this tune. That memory tugs at your heart so quickly, you have to pull the car into the Orange
Julius parking lot, and have a little boohoo. That's just love hanging on and it's OK. Life journeys on.”
Kay has flipped her toughest times into a blessing for others, and that has brought joy and healing to her in the process. It made me wonder if perhaps we could get a glimpse of that during these times? What is God teaching us during this pandemic and social chaos that will bless others? Will we just carry forward bitterness or find a way to make life better? For the faithful, we have the joy of knowing that nothing is wasted ... not even our pain. God will find a way to use it for good.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
— Romans 8:28