Careless son-in-law leaves trail of chaos in his wake

DEAR ABBY: My son-in-law “Kirk” has issues with closing doors, kitchen cabinets and refrigerator doors. Three times my daughter has had to throw out food because it spoiled. He doesn't close cereal boxes, bags of candy or chips, either.

My husband and I tolerated Kirk's behavior until a recent visit to our home. He again left the door to our garage open, where our inside cat could have escaped. He was rough when opening our recliner, and he also didn't turn the cap all the way down on the seltzer bottle, but I know better than to shake the bottle before checking the cap because I once spilled orange juice everywhere after he failed to tighten the cap.

My daughter says she has known Kirk for 15 years, and he isn't going to change. She says he doesn't focus on the task at hand but is thinking about something else. I suppose she has given up and continually goes behind him to fasten things.

My husband and I feel he doesn't respect our home when he behaves this way. After my daughter spoke to Kirk after his last visit, she has brought our granddaughter over twice, but he stayed home. I feel like both of them think we are making much ado about nothing. — Open-and-Shut Case in Virginia DEAR OPEN-AND

SHUT: Has your daughter or son-inlaw actually said that to you? You were not wrong to speak up, and it's not much ado about nothing. It is consideration for the property of others. You should have drawn the line after the first time your immature and inconsiderate son-in-law left the garage door open. (Was he stoned during those visits? Distracted by his cellphone?) Address the matter directly with your son-in-law, and consider seeing them at their house instead of yours.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.