Proceed with caution: Monitor a conversation before entering it
QUESTION: I walked by a group of friends at a meeting and stopped to say hello. When I did so, a woman said brusquely: “Let me finish my story.” I was sorry to interrupt, but all I said was hello to the group, and they returned the greeting. I didn’t know someone was giving a speech in the social gathering, and didn’t realize I interrupted, but I didn’t try to start a conversation, and was quiet after hello. What should I have done?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: Nothing else you should have done. That women should be kinder next time. She was just being rude.
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: I think you just consider it a fluke and recognize she wanted to finish her story before she lost her train of thought. Of course you didn’t know you were interrupting, and she may not have meant to be rude. Conversations ebb and flow all the time, with people dropping in and out. Perhaps she had been trying to tell her story several times up to that point and was frustrated; maybe she’s stuck at home with young children and relishing the chance to be among adults. How could you know what you walked into? She set a boundary and came across as brusque to you. I am sure you let her finish her story, which is all you can do at that point. I wouldn’t think anything else about it, but I’m sorry you felt awkward trying to be friendly. It has happened to all of us at one point or another.
HELEN’S ANSWER: You might say “May I interrupt? I just want to say hello,” when approaching your friends. The person speaking can stop and return the greeting. But if you didn’t even know she was holding forth with her story, then it is usually up to her to be the polite one. It is unfortunate that people feel compelled to lecture us when we make a mistake.
GUEST’S ANSWER: Richard Rosser: creator of Piggy Nation and Color Surprise: It sounds to me like the Story Woman has a pet peeve about being interrupted. I can understand that she might be bothered if it were a conference and she was trying to close a sale or on stage to entertain an audience. If I were you, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. That is until you approach a group of folks at another meeting. Next time, you might approach and monitor the conversation for a moment so you don’t run the risk of “interrupting” another ardent storyteller.
Since 2009, Callie, Lillie-Beth and Helen have written this generational etiquette column. They also include guest responses from a wide range of ages each week. So many years later, Callie is 20plus; Lillie-Beth is 40-plus and Helen is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.