A welcome gesture or half-hearted reply?
QUESTION: When someone thanks me for a compliment, should I say, “You’re welcome,” or something else, or nothing?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: You are more than welcome to respond, “you’re welcome!” “You’re welcome,” is perfectly fine.
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: First, I know this isn’t your question exactly, but lots of people have trouble receiving compliments. Sometimes they downplay them or don’t believe they are true, and you’ll likely hear all kinds of responses to a compliment. But a “thank you” for one is a sincere, natural and easy response. All you have to say to that is “you’re welcome.” You can also reassure them that you meant every word and leave it at that. In answering this question, I’m pondering what led you to ask it. You must have had an unexpected and awkward exchange recently, since most interactions related to this don’t prompt much afterthought. Whatever you do, keep your compliments — and your response — genuine and true, and if things get awkward because of the other person, keep your response simple and don’t worry about the awkwardness.
HELEN’S ANSWER: “You are welcome” seems to cover the situation. I have heard the colloquial term “you bet” used. But a quick smile is always acceptable.
GUEST’S ANSWER: Christina Nihira, community volunteer: There are a couple ways to handle the compliment dilemma. To me, the standard “you’re welcome” seems almost disingenuous or half-hearted.
Instead try a simple nod and give a smile. Then it’s easy to use this nonverbal communication cue as a way to affirm your remark and move on to another subject. Or step into your role as a referee and reply “I just call it like I see it.” This is a short and authentic way to end the dialogue.
Since 2009 Callie, Lillie-Beth and Helen have written this generational etiquette column. They also include guest responses from a wide range of ages each week. So many years later, Callie is 20-plus; Lillie-Beth, 40-plus and Helen, 60-plus.