Important part of healing in grief is taking time to remember
The holidays can be an especially difficult time of the year when you are missing a loved one. You might even be experiencing a feeling of dread as you ponder enduring a family event without your loved one. We remember the family traditions, the special trips or those special little things that person did that made the holidays so special.
When I think about my mother, I cannot help but think about the holidays. My mother had a way of making every holiday seem magical and wonderful. She would decorate the house for every holiday, make special cakes and the wrapping on the gifts was always beautiful. I think back and marvel at how you accomplished it all and did it with such grace and ease. She made being a wonderful mom look easy.
An important part of healing in grief is to take time to remember. Memories can bring a flood of emotion. However, when we make space to allow ourselves to move through the sadness of our loss then we can also experience great gratitude. We often attempt to put thoughts out of our mind because it can be too painful to remember. However, it can be helpful to face our feelings head on and make a plan in advance for how you plan to remember this holiday season. The following is a few ideas I have found helpful.
1. Make your loved one’s favorite dish. You can even print out the recipe and have it available for all the rest of the family members to have also.
2. Continue a family tradition. OR Make a new family tradition.
3. Make a donation to your loved one’s favorite charity.
4. Serve at a local homeless shelter or community meal in honor of your loved one.
5. Go around the dinner table and share your favorite memory of your loved one.
Holidays are hard but when we try to avoid the memories and emotions of missing someone we love, we often can make the holidays harder. I encourage you to remember and share those memories with one another. It is in these moments their legacy continues to live on and love never dies.
May God’s love surround you and keep you in His perfect peace.
The Rev. Nancy Miller is bereavement coordinator at Good Shepherd Hospice.