The Oneida Daily Dispatch (Oneida, NY)
LIFE, DEATH AND UTOPIA
Cemetery: Dozens learn role of grief in Community
On Saturday, just two days before Halloween, a large group of people meandered through the Oneida Community Cemetery, winding in and out of the weathered headstones.
While some may visit graveyards close to Halloween on dares or to seek horrific thrills, this gathering was more edu- cational in nature as the Oneida Community Mansion House’s Curator of Education Molly Jessup led roughly 30 people on a tour of the historic grave site, learning about the Community’s perception of death and the afterlife during its 19th century heyday.
Before visiting the cemetery that runs adjacent to the Oneida Community Golf Club, visitors piled into the Mansion House’s
Big Hall — the site of Oneida Community memorial services when a member died — to learn about common grieving practices during the 19th century.
Jessup informed the audience that throughout America during the 1800s, it was common practice for widows to remain in mourning for two-and-a- half years, with four separate stages to complete before the grieving process was considered complete. Formen, the expected grieving process for the loss of a wife was expected to last only three months. Evenmore, if a man decided to court and marry a new wife during this immediate three month bereavement, he could suspend his process and marry. Then once married to his new wife, both the man and his new wife would reenter the grieving process until the three months were up, Jessup said, drawing a wry reaction from the audience.
Other common grieving practices in America during the Community’s lifetime included braided wreathes woven together with locks of hair from the deceased and photographs with the dead. Jessup explained that because photography was a relatively new technology during the time period, it was not uncommon for people to die before ever hav- ing their photo recorded. Therefore, loved ones would dress up the body of the deceased and take family photographs with the dead relative inside a propped up coffin as a means of record keeping.
While the rest of America held more morose, somber means of remembering the dead, Jessup said the Community differed from the mainstream as members viewed death in a different manner. “Overt signs of grief were not common” and “death was treated with lightness,” the education curator said. When a Community member died, songs were sung in the Big Hall to commemorate the lost family member — Jessup explained that most Communitymembers viewed the entire collective as one giant family — and members shared memorable stories regarding the deceased.
When attention, and the tour, shifted to the Oneida Community Cemetery, Jessup pointed out the headstones of several notable figures in the Community’s history.
John Humphrey Noyes, the founder of the Utopian Oneida Community, and his mother Polly Hayes Noyes are both buried in the cemetery. Polly Noyes was the aunt of President Rutherford B. Hayes, Jessup said. Though prominent figures in the Community’s history, John’s and his mother Polly’s gravestones are the same smallish size as the rest of the original Community grave markers. Furthermore, not all nuclear families are grouped together in the cemetery as members viewed the Community as one giant family.
Mary Elizabeth Johnson Cragin is another Community member laid to rest in the cemetery. Her story is unusual in the fact that she died on the Hudson River while journeying back to the Mansion House. Her body was eventually recovered by the Community so she could be buried at home. Community members were so enthralled with Cragin’s portrayal as a Community woman her epitaph read: “Her only ambition was to be the servant of love, and she was beautifully and wonderfully made for this office.”
Jessup said that because Cragin’s skill in this area, the Community kept her skull separate from the buried body for phreno-logic study, or the study of the skulls distinct bumps and patterns as an indicator of character and mental abilities.
As the Community faded and eventually disbanded, descendants were still placed in the cemetery, but thoughts changed as to how to mark the grave. One giant, intricately crafted marker dominated the landscape as proof. Ironically, the marker never came to fruition, Jessup explained, as Esther Loftus died before her husband. The two had purchased the stone before their deaths, but Esther died before her husband Patrick Loftus, who remarried following his first wife’s death. Esther is buried beneath the stone, but Patrick is not.
Jessup said John Humphrey Noyes’ son Theodore chose to be buried into the side of a hill in attempts to make his grave harder to plunder for potential thieves seeking medical cadavers on the cheap according to legend.
Following the tour, attendees had a chance to continue exploring the cemetery or ask Jessup further questions.
“I loved it. I’m very interested in cemeteries,” said Barbara Forsstrom, of Syracuse, who was searching for possible relations of her own in the graveyard.
Pody Vanderwall, of Oneida, was impressedwith Jessup’s ability to weave the Community’s history in with their perception of death.
“I tink she does a great job of breaking up the story,” she said. “It’s a good tour.”