Reader having trouble with relationships

Dear Annie: I can’t seem to catch a break when it comes to my love life. I’m a serial monogamist; I began dating at 18, and I haven’t spent so much as a month single since. But it seems as if just about every guy I’ve dated ends up being a cheater or a deadbeat. Prior to my current relationship, I was with “Ray,” who was underemployed. I had just received an inheritance (he didn’t know about that when we started dating), so I had no problem being generous — at first. Gradually, I found myself paying for all his expenses. He didn’t have a car, so I let him use mine. He never filled up the tank. I started to find his laziness and lack of ambition unattractive. That’s when I started spending time with “Derek,” who is a chef at the restaurant where I work, in a different light. Long story short, I broke things off with Ray and started seeing Derek. I thought things were going great. But a few weeks ago, I went to use my laptop and noticed he was still logged on to Facebook. In general, I try not to snoop, but I couldn’t help it this time. I saw the most recent message, which was from a girl, and they’d been talking regularly for the previous two months — flirting, sending each other selfies. I confronted Derek, and he insisted that they’re just friends. I don’t really believe him, but I can’t bring myself to leave him. I don’t know whether there’s anyone better out there. What is it with guys today? — Serially Disappointed

Dear Serial: You’re jumping from relationship to relationship as a kid hops between couch cushions in a game of hot lava. What is so perilous about being single that you rush into shoddy relationships with men you don’t much care for? That’s not just a rhetorical question. I mean for you to really look inward and do some reflecting. Instead of searching for your next boyfriend, you should be finding yourself. Break up with Derek. Don’t date anyone for six months. Until you learn how to be happy with yourself, you won’t be happy with a partner.

Dear Annie: I just read in today’s newspaper that pigs, dogs, cats and other pets will now be allowed on airplanes as “therapy” animals. I do not like animals in places where people live, such as inside homes or in other confined places. As a child, I was severely traumatized by a dog, and ever since, I haven’t wanted to be in confined spaces with animals. I travel on airplanes several times a year. What are my rights to not have to be subjected to this added stress? — Petless in New York

Dear Petless: Victims of dog attacks suffer psychological scars long after the physical wounds have healed, and you have my sympathy in that regard. But let’s not disparage therapy animals — the loving, furry heroes who have been helping people with disabilities for years.

In terms of what your “rights” are: I know that airlines accommodate allergic passengers by reseating them when necessary or, when that’s not an option, by placing them on the next available flight free of charge. If you’re at all allergic to dogs, you might consider pursuing that angle.

But more generally speaking, you should try to work past your fears. Do you have any friends who have dogs you feel more comfortable around than most? If so, spend time with them. Exposure therapy can work wonders. Service animals have been in use for decades and are not going anywhere any time soon.

Dear Annie: Yesterday in the store, I saw a pregnant woman who looked about ready to deliver. Her belly was gigantic and had dropped somewhat so that the skin-tight shirt she had on did not quite cover all, and honestly, she looked just gross.

Whatever happened to the pretty maternity smocks I remember from days past? Whatever happened to modesty or being a bit discreet? I know pregnancy is a “natural” thing, but some of us really don’t want to have these huge bellies in our faces. Hollywood’s “baby bump” fixation probably has something to do with it, but still, in the third trimester, I feel that maternity clothes should be worn in public. I know a lot of other women who feel the same way. I have even heard men making comments, as well. It seems that women no longer have any aura of “mystery” about them. It’s just “let it all hang out.” What is your opinion? — An Oregon Reader

Dear Oregon: Though I tend to agree with you that smock dresses look prettier than crop tops, I think that what you’re describing is part of a larger trend toward celebrating pregnancy rather than trying to hide it. That’s something I wouldn’t discourage. And at the end of the day, it’s really none of our business. If the sight offends you, either change your viewpoint or just change your view. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.