Astrograph- Friday

You’ll have plenty to think about, lots to share and a chance to use the knowledge and information you gather to help you make important suggestions, decisions and changes. Offer compassion, discipline and respect. You can improve your life and the lives of your loved ones.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) :

Do things differently in order to attract an audience. Your ability to resolve issues and achieve goals will raise awareness and enhance your reputation.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) :

Stick to the script. If you exaggerate or give someone the wrong impression about what you are offering, you will end up in an emotional situation that will be difficult to reverse.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) :

Share something you enjoy doing with someone you love to spend time with. Engaging in intellectual banter and collaborating to come up with a plan that leads to a better lifestyle are encouraged.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) :

Stubbornness will set you back. Try to work with your peers to come up with the best solutions. Finishing projects will be the cornerstone to getting ahead.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) :

Refuse to get worked up over what someone else does or says. Walk away from a dispute and seize any opportunity you get to expand your awareness, knowledge and skills.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) :

Truth is essential when dealing with a child, loved one or friend. Delays and confusion will tamper with your plans. Leave plenty of time to reach your destination.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) :

Home is where the heart is. Make a space that will encourage you to work on something that makes you feel good about yourself and the direction you are heading.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) :

Don’t take the bait. If someone uses emotional tactics to grab your attention, respond with a peaceful alternative solution that will help you avoid a senseless argument.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) :

Suggest a good idea that will help thwart a plan that makes no sense to you. A congenial approach to a deal that doesn’t favor you will help you balance the outcome.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) :

Put more effort into making personal improvements and financial gains and living a healthy lifestyle. Home improvements will make your life less stressful. Romance is highlighted.

PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20) :

An honest look at the past will help you develop a plan that will improve your future. Don’t shy away from doing things differently. Accepting your uniqueness will help you excel.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) :

A change of scenery will do you good. Taking a day trip or visiting someone with similar interests will be enlightening and will give you a new lease on life. DEARANNIE>> My wife and I have been together for 30 years. The first 22 years of our marriage, I was drunk every weekend and some weeknights. I’m not proud of the things I did and said. I’m not happy about all the quality time I missed out on with our children, who are now grown and out of the house. But I can’t undo what’s been done, and dwelling on the shame only leads me to the dark place that makes me want to drink. So I try to focus on the positive. I thank the Lord for the second chance he’s given me. I look to the future.

The problem is that my wife seems not to have gotten over the ways I wronged her in the past. Even though I haven’t had a drink in eight years (thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous), I can tell she’s still always waiting for the other shoe to drop. She frequently nags me to go to AA meetings. Sometimes she brings up past events and tries to tell me how much they hurt her. I’ve already felt horrible about it; I don’t need her to remind me. I wish she would stop holding it against me. I messed up, but I’m trying to make it right. I guess I’m not really sure what my question is, but I’m just looking for help erasing the stain alcohol has left on my marriage. Would appreciate your thoughts. DEARSAVED>> Alcoholism is a family disease. It impacts every member of the household. Although you are recovering, your wife is not. Please encourage her to attend an Al-Anon meeting, where she can hear from others who have learned how to stop “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” You might also both benefit from marriage counseling, which would offer a neutral space to air your feelings and move toward understanding. I commend you on your years of sobriety and wish you many more. DEARANNIE>> This is in response to “Still Interested” and anyone else who has the problem of having a wife who has lost interest in sex. As a wife of 40 years, I had the same problem after my hysterectomy and going through menopause. I couldn’t tell my husband that it was very painful to have intercourse. I avoided any type of affection for this reason. I was too embarrassed to talk about something so personal. I finally got up the nerve to tell my doctor. She said this is very common and prescribed a medicine to help. What a difference! I can’t believe I went 15 years before I said anything. My husband is much happier. Please, women who are going through this: Talk to your husband and doctor. DEARHAPPY>> Thank you for opening up about your experience. It’s yet another testament to the importance of communication in having a healthy sex life. If your letter encourages even one woman out there to talk to her doctor or open up to her husband, it’s worth its word count in gold. DEARANNIE>> My wife and I have been together for four years, married for one. She’s always been a little absent-minded. At first, it was cute, but then it started to become more of an issue. After we got married and moved in together, I noticed it more. For example, I came home a few times to find the stove on with nothing on it. This concerned me because her faulty short-term memory seemed to be becoming a safety issue.

I encouraged her to talk to her doctor about her forgetfulness, thinking it could be caused by a vitamin deficiency. I had no idea that the doctor would end up prescribing her an amphetamine medi- cation for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. It’s helped immensely with the space cadet-like behavior. This has been going on for six months. I’m worried about her health. Two weeks ago, she did mention to me that she might like to try cutting back on taking the medication, but then she was right back to the all-nighters. On the days she doesn’t take it, she’s her sweet old self, but she also sleeps and eats a lot, almost as if she were hibernating. I know it can backfire if you try to force someone to get help that she doesn’t think she needs. What should I do? DEARMISSING>> From the sound of things, your wife may be abusing her medication. Signs of amphetamine addiction include decreased appetite, disturbed sleep patterns, rapid rate of speech, irritability, paranoia and withdrawal from friends and family, among many other undesirable symptoms.

It’s crucial that you talk to her as soon as there’s an opportunity to do so while she isn’t on the medication. She made comments about wanting to cut back, so you can use that as a starting point. Ask how you can support her. Stress that you’re not coming from a place of judgment but rather concerned for her health. The less accusatory your tone the less defensive she’s likely to be. You might go to her next doctor’s appointment with her so the three of you can talk about the situation and develop a better, more sustainable plan. For more help, call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s help line, at 800662-HELP.