Getting Back on the Teaching Horse

DEARANNIE » I am in my 20s and working multiple jobs. A fewyears ago, I began substitute teaching at the elementary school in the town I grew up in. For about two years, I filled in for many teachers and even worked long terma few times, but I was never a permanent employee at the school. It was fun connecting with the kids, and I even ate lunch with one student regularly after being his aide for a few weeks. Additionally, I worked as a supervisor for the school’s summer day care program.

I aspired to work there full time but was not hired, despite interviewing multiple times. I decided I just needed a break from substitute teaching, so I did not go back until late in the year, and when I did, the classes I had were anything but fun. I tried to reconnect with the student I had lunch with, but his teacher would not permit me to do that again, despite thanking me for doing it previously.

I was so hurt after all of this that I decided to give up on teaching. Now I find myself missing the kids, and I want to get back to helping them do their best. But after this series of rejections, seeing the dark side of working with children and being away for so long, I find my self afraid to go back. A place I once enjoyed now makes my stomach turn when I think of going there. Howdo I conquer this fear and get over these disappointments?

— Feeling Like a Failure

DEAR FEELING LIKE A FAILURE» You applied to one teaching job, and you made it to the final round of the interview process. In my view, that’s a win. Ask the folks who interviewed you whether they would be willing to provide some feedback. I’m not sure what your education level is, but it’s possible that you need to complete additional schooling to be a viable candidate.

Today’s job market is highly competitive, and hardly anyone gets the first job he or she applies to. You’re probably going to have to apply to lots more, and that’s OK. If teaching is what you really want to do— it sure seems as if it is — then you won’t be happy until you’ve given it everything you’ve got.

DEARANNIE » My dear neighbor “Susie” and I attend the same exercise class twice a week. She wants to alternate who drives to the class, but neither she nor her husband is a good driver. He has vision problems and had an accident, and she is a nervous driver, as well as a nervous passenger, calling out whether it is OK to proceed at an intersection. I really don’t want her to be the driver. How do I diplomatically tell her that I would prefer to drive or meet her at exercise classes without hurting our relationship?

— Perturbed Passenger

DEAR PERTURBED PASSENGER» People tend to get defensive about their driving skills, so you’ll need to sugarcoat this bitter pill as heavily as you can. Bring it up at a calm time, not when you’re in the car together, and present the issue as being more about you (e.g., “I get carsick easily if I’m not driving”) than her. Tell her you’d prefer driving to the classes. If she reacts poorly, give her time to cool off, and start driving on your own. You cannot continue riding with unsafe drivers simply out of guilt.

DEARANNIE » Two elderly friends I know who live far away made plans to spend about six days in my city. I invited themto stay at my house for three nights, and they made reservations to stay in a downtown hotel for the rest of their visit. I had not seen them for a number of years, and I thought it would be nice to spend time with them. I thought I would ease their travel burdens by having them stay with me, at least for part of their visit. Traveling when you are 80plus can sometimes be hard on you.

When I picked them up at the airport, bothwere sick with a cold. I became very concerned about my own health (and those around me), given that the previous winter, I had a severe cold that turned into pneumonia. It took more than three months for me to get better, even with antibiotics.

They sneezed, coughed and blew their noses the whole time they stayed with me. We were often in close contact, not only inside the house but also in the car, given that I drove them around for sightseeing. Tomy surprise, they did not seemto be that worried about my getting sick. Unfortunately, I did end up catching their cold and was bedridden for four days after they left.

I don’t want tobe called a bad host who reneges on a promise. But should I have suggested to them upon their arrival that it would not be wise for themto stay with me, given their health situation? Staying at the same hotel at which they had reservations later in the week might have been an option. We still could have socialized, but it would have minimized my chances of getting sick. Would this suggestion have been too selfish?

— Still Feeling Sick

DEAR STILL FEELING SICK» When you have a history of pneumonia or another serious respiratory illness, the sniffles are nothing to sniff at. Yes, it would have been perfectly OK for you to explain your concerns to your friends and ask whether they’d mind checking in to the hotel a few days early.

Fingers crossed all your future houseguests are healthy, but if you find yourself in this situation again, speak up. Though your friends may have recovered fromtheir colds, they’d feel pretty crummy if they knew they got you sick.