The Oneida Daily Dispatch (Oneida, NY)

Team Trump braces for more Stormy weather

- Dick Polman Columnist

It’s surely the dream of every red-blooded American kid to grow up and be sued by a porn star.

Remember a million years ago, when right-wing moralists assailed President Obama for diminishin­g the dignity of the office by putting a foot against his desk and wearing a tan suit? Good times, good times. We can’t begin to imagine what they would’ve said if Obama had been sued by a sex worker who got paid off to keep her lips zipped on the eve of his election. We can’t begin to imagine ... oh what the heck, let’s just quote from the lawsuit filed Tuesday against Trump:

“Mr. Trump, with the assistance of his attorney, Mr. Cohen, aggressive­ly sought to silence Ms. Clifford as part of an effort to avoid her telling the truth, thus helping to ensure he won the presidenti­al election.”

Thank you, Stormy Daniels! For awhile, I had reluctantl­y decided to write about chief economic adviser Gary Cohn - who quit his job while Trump was bragging about how everyone wants to work for him - but in the end, Stormy rode to the rescue. Because I know you’d rather read about a sex coverup than a policy tiff about tariffs.

Nothing reveals Trump’s unparallel­ed sleaze more than the ever-burgeoning Stormy story. She wants a court to void the Oct. 28, 2016 hush agreement - the one where Trump is listed by an alias, “David Dennison” - because even though she signed it, and Trump lawyer Michael Cohen signed it, Trump himself did not sign it. The signature line above the notificati­on “DD” was left blank.

In other words, Trump is such a loser than he can’t even follow through on muzzling an extramarit­al mistress. The other fun fact, of course, is that Cohen paid off Stormy before the election with $130,000 of his own money, and has since reportedly complained to friends that Trump never bothered to reimburse him. Which means that hotel contractor­s aren’t the only people Trump stiffs.

What’s not fun, however, is the very real possibilit­y that the coverup maneuver may well have violated federal election law. That’s hardly shocking, given the fact that Team Trump is infested with confessed and credibly accused criminals (thank you, Robert Mueller).

The date of the hush agreement (11 days before the election) and the subsequent payoff to Stormy suggest that Cohen made an “in kind” campaign contributi­on in an amount that far exceeds what’s legally permitted. A campaign contributi­on is defined as “anything of value given, loaned or advanced to influence a federal election.” Plus, Cohen’s coverup donation was made through a Delawareba­sed LLC set up for that express purpose.

The law says that an individual can donate no more than $5,400, and it must be funneled through a political action committee, where it’s publicly recorded. Plus, an “in kind” contributi­on is defined in law as “an expenditur­e made by any person or entity in cooperatio­n, consultati­on or consult with, or at the request or suggestion of, a candidate’s campaign.”

So, the obvious question: Did Trump - excuse me, “David Dennison” - know about the hush agreement? Who among us actu- ally believes he didn’t know what his own loyal lawyer was doing?

But the Trump slag heap is so high that it’s hard to focus on even the stinkiest refuse. A few congressme­n have asked the FBI to investigat­e whether the Stormy payoff broke federal law, but the FBI appears to have its hands full trying to assist Mueller while fending off Trump’s relentless attacks on law enforcemen­t’s independen­ce.

Oh, how we pine for the days when Obama’s tan suit was deemed the height of disrespect for the presidency. Because one tiny provision in Stormy’s hush agreement caught my eye. It’s the subsection where she was compelled to “completely divest herself” of all communicat­ions accrued during her months-long affair with Trump - including any and all “still images.”

No, Stormy, no. Please spare us.

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