Folding on this bridge game

DEAR ANNIE >> A few years ago, I joined a duplicate bridge group in town and got paired with an older man who had just broken up with his partner. He taught beginner classes and was a great help in getting me up to speed with modern conventions, as it had been years since I’d played. We did well for the first two years.

Unfortunately, over the past several months, his skill has deteriorated markedly. He makes simple mistakes in both the bidding and play of the hands, and makes them over and over. I’ve reached a point where I don’t enjoy playing with him, and realize I need to break the partnership and find someone else.

The issue is that he is getting on in years (late 80s), and it’s almost certain that he has had some mental deterioration, possibly even a TIA. Being blunt with him will be hurtful but I don’t know of a better way to do it.

Can you suggest a way to let him down that will keep his dignity?

— Unhappy Player

DEAR UNHAPPY PLAYER >> First things first, if you’ve noticed potential symptoms of serious health conditions that this man hasn’t noticed yet, you must (gently, privately) bring those matters to his attention, and/or to the attention of his loved ones.

Health disclaimers aside, on to the question of breaking up with him as a bridge buddy: You could sit this man down and tell him that you’ve enjoyed playing with him but you’re looking for another partner. Your time is your own, after all, and it’s your right to spend it how you choose. However. I beg you to step back and consider if that’s what you really want to do.

Think back to a few years ago, when he first taught you how to play, the ways in which exercised patience and grace in helping you improve. Now you have the opportunity to return that grace at a time when it’s really needed. A number of studies, including a 2016 study from the Center for Alzheimer Research and Treatment at Harvard Medical School, have found that social isolation increases the risk and accelerates the progression of cognitive decline.

Instead of ditching your partner altogether, consider finding a less-competitive bridge circle or a lesscompetitive card game in which you two can participate. Meanwhile, on your own, you can pursue another bridge game that allows you to satiate your appetite for competition. Again, your time is your own, and it’s ultimately up to you with whom and how you want to spend it. So I don’t present this as an obligation but an opportunity. To quote the illustrious Leonard Nimoy: “The miracle is this: The more we share, the more we have.”

DEAR ANNIE >> Thank you for taking time in your column to thank all the men and women who are serving in the U.S. armed services. However, you should know the differences between Memorial Day, Armed Forces Day and Veterans Day.

Memorial Day is a federal holiday that honors the men and women who died while serving in the U.S. military and is observed on the last Monday of May every year. Many Americans celebrate Memorial Day by visiting cemeteries or memorials, holding family gatherings and participating in local or national parades. It also unofficially marks the beginning of the summer season.

Veterans Day is a federal holiday that honors the men and women who previously served in the U.S. Armed Forces and are still living, though many also celebrate for the deceased as well. The holiday falls on Nov. 11 of every year, commemorating the first anniversary of the end of World War I on Nov.11, 1918. Veterans Day is celebrated with parades and community gatherings as well, but most just enjoy the day off, and veterans get free food at participating restaurants.

Armed Forces Day is not a federal holiday but is observed every third Saturday in May to honor active duty (current) service members. Armed Forces Day falls during Military Appreciation Month, joining Memorial Day and Military Spouse Appreciation Day. The holiday was created on Aug. 31,1949, by Defense Secretary Louis Johnson to replace separate Army, Navy and Air Force Days and to unify the armed forces under one agency — the Department of Defense. This day is for those who currently wear the uniform and serve the country. — A Proud Wife and

Mom of Veterans

DEAR REAL LIFE AND PROUD WIFE AND MOM>> Thank you for enlightening all of us. We should honor our brave men and women in the armed forces, active and veterans, every day of the year. But it is helpful to know the differences between these special days, and your letters spelled them out beautifully.