The brightest flame burns the quickest

DEAR ANNIE » Since you wrote “Ask Me Anything,” I’m taking you up on it. I had known a lady for about a year when I finally asked her out. I was shocked when she said yes. The date was to be a game of miniature golf followed by a walk on the beach. Long story short, she stopped by my house first, and we never made it to miniature golf or the beach. Instead, I had a few of the best hours of my life. After a couple of similar “dates,” I invited her to move in with me, and she accepted. Our relationship was close to perfect. She was extremely caring and affectionate. I didn’t want to bring up marriage too soon, but I did tell her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and she said the same to me. This continued for about three months. But then, one Sunday, she got up very early to go spend the day with her mother out of town. As she was getting ready, I hugged her and said, “I am happy you enjoy spending time with your mom, but it would be great if you would plan it a little later so we could enjoy some time together before you have to leave.” Later that afternoon, she came back and was enraged that I’d said anything about her spending time with her mom. She hurriedly packed her things and left. That was 10 months ago. I tried several times to call her, but she wouldn’t answer. And she didn’t reply to any of the several emails I sent. I simply cannot fathom what caused her to go from the most loving person I’ve ever known to wanting nothing to do with me. Should I give up on her altogether? If not, what can I do to get her back? — Whiplashed DEAR WHIPLASHED » When things go from 0 to 100 so quickly, it’s a sign you’re headed for a crash — in your case, a hit and run. With the way she split so quickly, you can be sure that it wasn’t just because of what you said that day; it was because she’d been planning to leave already. Asking her to move in after a few dates was a mistake. You didn’t know her then, and you hardly know her now. Keep trying to move on. As hard as it is, it will get easier with time. The next time you meet someone special — and there will indeed be a next time — take things slow. DEAR ANNIE » My first reaction to the letter “Father Knows Best,” about a 40year tradition of yard care was, “What a nice story!” But then my training as a master gardener kicked in, and I thought, “Why are they raking up all the grass clippings?” If your lawn is kept regularly mowed, it is much better to leave the clippings where they are to decompose and help to fertilize the lawn naturally. In Florida, we are not allowed to use any chemical fertilizer on grass during the rainy summer months. The clippings help improve our mostly sandy soil by adding organic matter. Save yourself some trouble while doing the right thing for your lawn. Better still, reduce its area and replace it with garden beds and trees, and plants for the birds and the butterflies. — Florida Master Gardener Yard Advisor DEAR YARD ADVISOR » I missed the mark in my response to “Father Knows Best,” as I didn’t consider the environmental benefits of leaving lawn clippings be. I heard from many readers about this one. Thank you for setting me straight. DEAR ANNIE » My husband and I are in our early 70s. He is not all that healthy: heart disease, diabetes and asthma. I am pretty healthy but a bit overweight. We had to have our 18-year-old grandson move in with us one year ago. The move was due to horrid family issues with his mom. (That could fill a whole other letter!) The issue is that he really would like to make frequent trips back to his hometown, which is 50 miles away, to visit his siblings and friends. We’ve been pretty limiting in letting him go, due to the coronavirus. We let him go for two weekends, and he just did not seem to get it. He was lax in his use of PPE when visiting. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal. I do not know what to do. We want him to keep up with his friends and siblings but are terrified he will bring home the virus. He is very involved on Facetime and social media, but it is just not the same as hanging out, we know. We realize how hard it has been to be so far away from his siblings and friends. But we do not want to die! I really do not know how to best handle this. — Nervous Grandparents DEAR NERVOUS GRANDPARENTS » Not wanting to die is a perfectly reasonable wish. Stand your ground with your grandson: He can wear PPE and practice social distancing on these trips, or he can stay home. The choice is his. We’re all feeling isolated and tired of living this way. But the pandemic isn’t over just because we’re over it. “Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http:// www.creatorspublishing. com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@ creators.com.

Annie Lane Dear Annie