Changing minds and splitting checks

DEAR ANNIE » I liked your response to “MYOB” and “Freedom Lover” on the subject of reporting to authorities one’s neighbors for allowing their children to play together during COVID-19 times. You taught a much-needed lesson in admitting you were wrong and that sometimes you have to rethink a situation and look at all implications. If more people could look at things from all sides and not ALWAYS have to be right, then the world could be a better place.

By the way, when our local paper changed from the old standard advice column, which was good, to your column, I was initially quite irritated. It was one more “downgrade” in our newspaper. Then I had a word with myself, and said: “Don’t be so quick to judge. Annie may be young but have some fresh ideas. Let’s give it a while and see how she does.” Well, young lady, I am happy to say that I LOVE your column and find you very insightful in your answers.

— Sheri

DEAR SHERI » Thank you so much! You made my day. As psychologist Edward de Bono says, “If you never change your mind, why have one?”

DEAR ANNIE » This is about “Split the Bill,” where the person complained of getting taken advantage of by a group of friends who dine out every Christmas season and then split the meal bill evenly, despite some diners eating and drinking more than others. Here is my suggestion:

This year, she should order her regular onsite dinner, PLUS another dinner to go. Include a pricey, rich dessert for a special holiday treat. The total should come fairly close to the average price after the bill is split. The rest of the diners will each pay a percentage of her extra meal to make up for all the years they didn’t. Enjoy the meal at home or, better yet, take it to a lonely neighbor who is struggling to feed him/herself.

— Former Waitress

DEAR FORMER WAITRESS » While some might think your suggestion is being a little tit for tat, I’m printing your letter because it made me chuckle and I love the idea of spreading joy and sharing food with others.

DEAR ANNIE » My suggestion for “Split the Bill” is that next time that she meets with her friends, she orders something fancy (more expensive) that she likes, or she adds a dessert or a glass of wine to be more within the range that the others’ orders fall into. And then, she should relax and enjoy herself.

— Happy Guest

DEAR HAPPY GUEST » Interesting approach.

DEAR ANNIE » Before ordering drinks, the person in charge of reservations for the group should announce that there will be two bills: one bar bill and one food bill. You can continue to drink water with lemon and enjoy the evening. It took me, as a nondrinker, years to figure this out. They will be surprised but cannot deny that it is fair. Splitting the food and dessert is OK for a holiday party. Drinks are expensive.

— Separate Food and Drinks

DEAR SEPARATE » Thank you for your letter. It is a good suggestion.

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

My suggestion for “Split the Bill” is that next time that she meets with her friends, she orders something fancy (more expensive) that she likes, or she adds a dessert or a glass of wine to be more within the range that the others’ orders fall into. And then, she should relax and enjoy herself.