The Oneida Daily Dispatch (Oneida, NY)
Prioritizing mental health: Karing Kitchen takes a week-long pause to rest
ONEIDA, N.Y. » Mental health is a priority that shouldn't be taken lightly, and Oneida's Karing Kitchen is setting itself as an example. To show just how important it is to take care of your mental needs, it will be giving its volunteers their first week-long break in two years.
The soup kitchen and volunteer organization has been running non-stop during this pandemic to serve its community in whatever ways possible, explained Karing Kitchen Coordinator Melissa King. From food deliveries and special programs to advocating for families and all the connecting and coordinating going on behind the scenes, there's been little room for a mental health break, King said, and now is the time.
“I really wasn't thinking that three months down the line, six months down the line, that we would still be going every single day. And now we're here into two years.
“I'm so grateful that we have the volunteers that we have because we wouldn't have been able to continue to run as we had without our volunteer base and without the community stepping up and saying ‘Hey, what do you need? What do you need?'” she said.
Karing Kitchen has been filling a great need, King explained, that's only been heightened since the pandemic began. More families are needing help connecting to essential resources, like unemployment and food. The Karing Kitchen assists people by not only filling their bellies but also advocating for those who are feeling lost and need some direction financially or emotionally. On average, King says around 500 families are served by the organization each month.
“There’s a lot involved mentally, just with responding to the need, and COVID itself is a piece that is just mentally harrowing,” King shared. On top of serving the community, the Karing Kitchen has been managing COVID protocols and going “above and beyond” for the utmost safety of its clients and volunteers.
The week-long pause for the charity was caused in part by the tremendous sense of loss being felt right now in the community, King said, as Oneida greats Leo Matzke (former city mayor), Joe Ostrander (city supervisor), and Randy Domes (senior advocate) all passed away within a short span of time. “We just lost three powerful people in our community that have been huge supporters of Karing Kitchen,” King said. “Just from me personally, I haven’t been able to go to anybody’s funeral,” she admitted.
Staying away from events where COVID has a chance to spread has been important for King, she said, which is why she hasn’t attended the funerals. Avoiding isolation for her is two-pronged: She says she needs to stay in the game to keep things moving with the Karing Kitchen, but also, she doesn’t want to spread the virus amongst her volunteers and clients. There’s been no room for error, and no room to tend to mental health. That changes now, she said.
“Everything’s always taking a back seat” from the hustle and bustle, King said, noting that the entire community is understaffed and overworked and feeling similar pressures.
“I needed a break. My volunteers needed a break.”
The Karing Kitchen will be taking a pause from Jan. 17-21 and will jump back into the swing of things on Jan. 24. King says resources and help will still be available to those in need through the kitchen’s partner agencies and organizations. Anyone needing food during the week-long pause has been accounted for ahead of time.
For King, she’ll be using the break as a chance to slow down and take time for her personal connections, saying she’ll finally be able to make it to a funeral.
Taking time for mental health looks different for everyone. To find relief, King encourages people to share their feelings with someone who will listen.
“I’ve always said that a burden shared is a burden halved,” King remarked. For many people, the first step is getting past the stigma.
“The most important roadblock,” King said, “is being able to say ‘I might need some help.'”
There are counseling services available in the area, including NY Project Hope (1-844-863-9314) for people coping with the effects of COVID; BRIDGES, which provides hope and support to those affected by addiction and substance misuse (315-697-3947); Madison County Mental Health (315366-2327); and PROS Clinic (Personalized Recovery Oriented Services) in Oneida for anyone struggling to find happiness or anyone dealing with trauma (315363-2451).
BRIDGES also hosts the Madison County Suicide Prevention Coalition along with a suicide grief support group that meets regularly in a virtual manner. For more information on the support group, call (315) 944-7216 or visit BRIDGES online. Information about the coalition can be found on the BRIDGES website or by calling their mainline (315-697-3947). The U.S. 24/7 Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
There’s a number of reasons why people struggling emotionally/mentally feel too vulnerable to open up, King explained. In particular, she says the heads-ofhouseholds can be holding in the most stress for fear of making their loved ones feel guilty about their mental health struggles. People also hide their true feelings for the fear of being shamed, outcast, or deemed inadequate to lead or take care of others.
There’s a stigma around mental health and a tendency for people on the outside to quickly judge those who are struggling, King explained. “There’s such a perception of, ‘If there’s something going on mentally with you, maybe I shouldn’t have you working for me, maybe you shouldn’t be watching my kids, maybe my kids shouldn’t be visiting your kids.'”
King pointed out that oftentimes, all a person needs is someone to talk to, someone to check in with them, to start feeling better. It can make a world of difference.
Part of the Karing Kitchen’s role is advocating for people as they navigate the resources available, and the same is true if their clients are struggling emotionally. King shared, “If is already connected with a resource, I have no problem calling with them and saying ‘Hey, they’re having a crisis at this moment, could you possibly see them?'”
There can be a lot to wade through to find the right professional services, King admitted. But once you’re in, the relief and healing can begin. “I tell people not to give up because it’s worth it.”
“There’s a lot involved mentally, just with responding to the need, and COVID itself is a piece that is just mentally harrowing.” — Karing Kitchen Coordinator Melissa King